35. Meant to be

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August 20th, 1993


"Are you sure you wanna go back to work so soon?"

"Yes, I'm sure Nic, I'm sick of sitting around on my ass all day moping. I need to continue making cash if I wanna make it into nursing school."

"Yeah you right, well I hope you have a great day, love you."

"I love you too." I hung the phone on the hook.

It's almost been two weeks since my heated eye-opening conversation with Birdie. I don't even wanna label it as an argument because we both just said how we felt, good or bad. It was all just the truth and I couldn't blame myself for that. Neither could I blame him. Some things just aren't meant to be.

Although I wouldn't turn him away if he was to come to my doorstep. I miss him so much and I feel like deep down inside he misses me too. At least, I hope so.

I got out of my thoughts and finished getting ready for the workday. I brushed off my black suit as if it was covered in lint, it's a force of habit I guess and I do wear black a lot. I walked into my closet grabbing the first pair of heels that I spotted since I only had a few anyway, I was always a sneakerhead growing up, ya know being a tomboy and all.

My mom always made me wear heels though, despite how I felt about it. The only time I didn't wear heels was when I went to church, I had to wear ugly matching floral flats. I definitely don't miss those days.

Anyways, I hurriedly slipped my heels on my feet, strapping them up. I grabbed my wallet by the strap before trotting out the door. I ran all the way to the bus stop, checking the time when I got there.  My watch read, 9:02 pm. That's great since I had to be at work by 10. I was gonna be on time and I still had the time to get something for breakfast as well.


Golden Enterprises

1:30 pm.

I was sitting in the cafeteria area enjoying my Granny Smith apple, my eyes wandered around the slightly filled room as I smacked silently on my apple. It was lunchtime but I wasn't really that hungry so I just grabbed whatever, I haven't really been eating these past few days.

A low sigh escaped my mouth as I swallowed down my chewed food. I was so tired, all I did was tons of paperwork today, and when I thought that I was finally done early, feeling like it was too good to be true, and Mr. Bailey proved that when he entered my office with a fresh new stack of paperwork. So it was nice I finally have a break-even it was just only 15 minutes.

I appreciated it.

"Hey, Emoni." I looked up to be faced with Silvia.

"What do you want?" I asked, anger hidden within my tone.

"Just wanted to see how you are you know, on the account of losing,—."

"I'm fine, Silvia thanks." I cut her sentence off before she could even think of his name.

She sat there staring at me, studying me, hard. I dropped my apple from my hand letting it roll across the table, hopefully falling on her exposed top foot.

"Is that all?" I questioned in annoyance.

"I just wanted to let you know, I saw no name at the club, he was getting real close with the slutty bartender," she smirked.

"Okay? He's a grown man he can do what he pleases." I lied. My attention went back to the table, I heard her heels clicking as she hurried off.

My hands started to shake as the pain grew in my heart. He's moving on? With some cheap-ass bartender at that? He loves me but he's already moving on, just like that? I blinked away tears that sat comfortably at the brim of my eyes, how could he do this to me? Does he really even love me?

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