Reviews 2.0

The Last Sophian (Annie_Moon2001)

Reviewer: Annie_Moon2001

Author: SentryCod

Cover: 7/10 

The picture used for the background is just perfect. The only thing I believe needs work is your text organization. 

Description/Summary: 8/10 

Honestly, I'd say it's quite okay but it needs thorough editing that way it'd be able to easily trigger the spirit of curiosity in the minds of your readers. 

Chapter Review: 8/10 

Before the Beginning: 

One word, brilliant. I love the way you ended the chapter. It made me curious to read what's to come in the next chapters. Although the idea of the story was brilliant as well as the way you penned it down, this chapter needs editing in terms of punctuations and organisation. 

Chapter One: 

From your second paragraph where you wrote, "I'd have actually have gotten some...." I believe you should remove the second 'have' in that sentence that way it'd be "I'd have actually gotten some...".The first comment by Mr Strathmore, I felt that the word that shouldn't have been used. That way it'd be, "It's about time."I'd advice that you remove the little spacing you give after using a one space paragraph. This is because, it makes the chapter look unorganized.

In the paragraph where you were trying to relay to the readers that 'the academy' was set up by Mr Strathmore, you should have used 'was' instead of 'is'. I actually felt that the remaining part of the sentence made the whole sentence sound or seem a bit off. Probably a comma or any conjunction should be used to connect it. Again, I felt that a comma shouldn't have been used after writing 'the academy'. 

In the very next paragraph where you wrote, "If that's a good thing or bad thing." To me, it'd sound way better if you you added an 'a' before the bad that way it'd be, "If it's a good thing or a bad thing."In the paragraph where you wrote that the academy would pick you up and it's technically kidnapping, I'd advice that you use "it's" and not "its". 

In conclusion, great chapter. Although I pointed out some errors but I'd still advice that you go through the chapter and look for others that I wasn't able to find since they seemed okay to me. 

Chapter Two (The Tumult): 

Lovely chapter. I'm quite curious to know the kind of powers she possesses. I did notice some errors in terms of your punctuation. I also noticed some slight grammar errors. Like in terms of punctuation error, you tend to use a comma immediately after writing a dialogue and even before stating who said that. In terms of grammar errors, you mixed the tenses in some places.

Chapter Three: 

Great chapter. I'm glad that I finally got answers to some of my questions. But there are still a lot of questions that popped up in my head. Questions like, who the little girl was, why her eyes were now emerald and also, why Diana had a huge mysterious tattoo.The chapter was well written. The spellings and grammar are on point. The only thing that would need work is your punctuation use. You tend to use a comma immediately after the quotation mark in a dialogue. Like, "A few hours? That's damn too much time to wait doing nothing". The punctuation mark should be right after writing 'nothing'.I'd advice you work on your organization. Also, break down those super long paragraphs.

Chapter 4 (The Outburst): 

Great chapter. The only problem was that I was really confused during the whole bathroom argument seen between Diana and the A.S.S. or was it just me?Also, you seriously need to work on your punctuation and also on your vocabulary because some places seemed a bit too informal.Other than that, like I said earlier on, great chapter. I can't wait to see how the hunter would be able to find and harm or possibly eliminate Diana like he plans to and also, I hope David would be able to get a quick lead to Diana's friends identity.

Plot: 8/10 

From the chapters I've read, I'd say the book is off to a real promising start. Although there were grammar and punctuation errors here and there. The idea of the novel is rather superb. 

Overall Advice: 

I'd advice that you closely read through everything I pointed out and use it as a guide to edit your book. One more thing, a thorough editing would be needed.That all aside, I'll rate this book an 8/10.