IM Oblivious

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dedicated to lizquisha because apparently i ruined her entire life (sigh)

and anyway, hi. how are you. i ask this every chapter but no one ever tells me how they are (i just wanna talk to you guys idek you're all like ghost readers ((except fifty some (((and tori ((((john look what your parentheses thing did to me))))))))))

but i'm procrastinating the character asks again, sorry. they're hard to do when you don't have a ton of time. and yeah, i just. don't know what else to say really. 

QOTC: Who is your favorite character in this story? (curious idk)

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When Harry comes into the kitchen later in the morning, Louis isn't sitting there drinking his cuppa like he should be. There's an empty mug sat on the table though, so Harry figures Louis' probably just in the shower. He puts the mug in the sink along with the other dirty dishes that he figures he'll have to get around to doing eventually and hums to himself as he fixes his own breakfast. Pancakes somehow don't taste the same without Louis in the room.

It's been half an hour and Louis still is nowhere to be found, so Harry knocks on his bedroom door. "Lou? It's time to get up, sweets. Birmingham this afternoon."

There's not a response. Harry furrows his brow and goes to turn the knob on the door, but it's locked and won't budge. He sighs to himself, resting his forehead against the cool surface of the door before he speaks again. "Louis. Let me in."

The only thing Harry can hear is the sound of his own heart thudding in his ears and the breath whistling through his nose as he stands up straight and knocks again. Confused, he reaches into the pocket of his jumper (which he must have slipped on at some point; it's Louis' and it's just a little bit too small, but it smells nice and it will do) and retrieves his mobile. Harry dials Louis' number and waits as it rings, holding the speaker to his chest as he listens through the door for the sound of Louis' ring tone. It doesn't come from the bedroom, though. And now Harry is officially concerned.

He calls Niall second. "Hello?"

"Hey, Harry? What are you-"

"Is Louis with you, has he spoken to you at all today?" he asks quickly. Niall shuffling around can be heard from the other end.

"No?"

"Shit," Harry mutters to himself, sliding his feet into a pair of shoes and snatching his keys. "I can't find him, I think he might have left."

"What? What do you mean? Where would he have gone?"

"I don't know," Harry snaps. "Why would I be calling you if I kn-"

Harry stops in his tracks and sighs in relief as soon as he sees him - Louis is asleep in the driver's seat of his car. "Listen, Niall. I'll call you back."

"Harry-"

Harry hangs up though, stuffing the phone back into his pocket and clambering into the vehicle clumsily; he bangs his head off the side of the door and rubs at it irritably as he shakes Louis awake.

Louis' eyes flutter open as he inhales sharply, and only then does Harry notice the phone sitting on Louis' lap. He decides not to comment on it immediately, however, and as he watches Louis take his lower lip between his teeth he begins to speak softly. "Hey, Lou. Why're you out here?"

Louis blushes and squirms in the seat. "I - uh. Well. After I left your room I was gonna go get.. go have a smoke. And, well. I started reading the tweets again before I left - I promise I was just going to text you but the notification popped up and I couldn't help it - and then I just. Fell asleep here."

"C'mon, let's get you inside-" Harry begins.

"No."

"What?"

"I don't want to go inside." Louis blinks up at Harry slowly. "I want you to get out of the car."

Harry is taken aback. "Louis."

"You heard me. Out."

Harry furrows his brow and scoots away from where he had been leaning over toward the older boy, crossing his arms over his chest. "You can't make me get out of my own car. I have the keys anyway."

"I didn't say I was going to drive it anywhere," Louis humphs. Harry's completely confused as to why Louis' mood has changed so suddenly, but he's more concerned about Louis' current stability; he's got dark circles under his eyes and his skin is already pale, and Harry assumes that he had barely slept at all the night previous. "I just want to be alone."

"You don't need to do this alone, Lou. I'm here for you. I care about you."

"Well, that's not good enough, is it?" Louis mutters so quietly that Harry almost misses it. He cocks an eyebrow at Louis, but Louis is too busy glaring at his feet to notice. One of Harry's hands snakes under Louis' jaw and forces it up so that Louis quite literally has to make eye contact with Harry.

"What was that?"

"Nothing," Louis says quickly. Harry narrows his eyes. "I didn't say anything."

"Don't lie to me. Look, Louis, I don't know what your problem is-"

"You are my problem," Louis hisses, and that definitely silences Harry's words and his thoughts. "And so are all these - these people. Everyone. I need to get away from it. I want to be alone. Please, just leave me alone."

"What have I done? I thought we were in this together, that's what couples are supposed to do."

"We're not together. You're kidding yourself if you think otherwise." Ouch.

"Louis, we - we had sex-"

"And you think that changes anything?" Louis sounds so angry, but Harry can see the tears building in his eyes. "You think just because you got lucky I owe everything to you now?"

"What? No! That's not what I think at all!" Harry huffs. "I just don't understand why you're acting like this all of the sudden. I'm trying to help you."

"I don't need your help. You've already made how you feel crystal clear," Louis is crying now. Harry rubs at his temples with his finger tips and takes deep breaths; Louis stresses him out to no end (don't get him wrong, he's still the apple of his eye).

"Louis. I like you. I want to see you happy. I want the best for you. I don't want this," Harry looks pointedly at the phone Louis' clutching between his small hands. "To control your life. I don't see how that's a bad thing. What have I done to betray your trust?"

Louis' lower lip trembles, but when he doesn't respond Harry continues onward. "You have my support, baby. You always have. From day one. And if we don't communicate, we don't work. Even if.. even if we're not technically each other's, I think we've been through enough together and I can sincerely say that I know you're strong enough to get past this."

"It's not.. that. I just.." Louis takes a deep breath. "I. I want you, but I don't. I don't know how to say it."

"Say what?"

Louis' cheeks heat again under Harry's touch, so Harry prods; "Say it, Lou, whatever it is."

"I can't," Louis whispers; Harry's sure his heart breaks, literally. "I.. I don't. Can we just go back inside? I want to lay down in bed. 'm tired."

"Yeah, yeah. Of course. We can do that, Lou," Harry helps Louis from the car and into the house. Louis drags himself down the hallway and instead of turning and going into his own room (which Harry will not ask him about until later) he goes into Harry's and snuggles into the blankets. 

Harry doesn't mind, of course.

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