Caught [l.s] (boyxboy)

IM Offended

heya! so i waited until today to update because i decided to give myself an update schedule so that i can have a more organized way of going about things. caught is to be updated on saturdays and wed/thursdays. by that i mean it will be updated on either thursday or wednesday, not both. baby lips will be updated on sunday and everything else will be updated whenevr i get a chapter of it done.  your character answers will be posted by the next update - i keep saying that but ive been busy this week and last friday i totally forgot. but they're nearly finished.

i was also thinking of writing a special little fic for christmas. like, 12 days of christmas, sort of. 12 short chapters about a larry christmas. idk i like to write fluff sorry (does that sound at all interesting? i also have a book of one shots ill be posting within the next day or two. the one-shot book will be 16 parts long and each one shot will be based off a song in FOUR.)

next update at 130 comments!

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"Hello?" It's three in the morning. Louis isn't sure if he's alive or not. He would opt for the latter if he could, he's sure of it at this point. The bed in his old bedroom at his mum's is hard and cold without Harry. Then again, his bed at home had been even harder and even colder. And it smelled like him. Louis clenches his eyes shut before he speaks again. "Who's calling?"

It's quiet on the other end. "Yeah, it's Zayn."

"Zayn," he breathes, heart sinking as he pretends not to be disappointed. It's not like he's been craving to hear a certain deep, slow voice for days on end, playing the voicemails left on his phone over and over again just to fill some sort of hole that goes straight through his chest. Of course not. Louis scoffs to himself over his own idiocy; of course Harry wouldn't call. Of course not. "What.. what do you need?"

"Um... ." Zayn pauses. "Nothing, mate. Just wanted to see how you're doin'."

"Oh." Half of Louis' brain seems to think he's still frolicking in a field of dreams instead of talking to the Very Real Zayn on his Very Real Phone in the Very Real World. "At three in the morning?"

"I'm an early riser."

Louis snorts. "Yeah, okay."

Zayn quiets again for a few moments. Louis pulls the phone away from his ear just to make sure Zayn hasn't taken a step and actually hung up on him; he hasn't. He waits patiently, tracing jagged lines onto his pillowcase as chills run up his bare arms and down his back. His heart aches pathetically. "Has he been askin' about me?"

"No," Zayn replies. Louis sinks down farther into his pillow. The pain in his chest pangs and Louis has to hold his breath for a moment, just to keep himself steady, just to bring himself back to earth. It's a physical pain, almost; Louis can feel it, he swears. "But.. he said he went to your flat earlier."

Louis' heavy breaths hitch in the top of his throat as he blinks awake further. "Oh?"

"Yeah. Like," Louis hears shifting on Zayn's end, the lower murmur of another voice, and then the closing of a door. He wishes he had someone to accidentally wake up at night. He wishes he had someone to kiss back to sleep. "Guess he went to get something. You weren't there."

Louis hates himself for getting his hopes up, he really does. "Did that.. upset him?"

"Not particularly, no." Zayn sounds sad. Louis thinks that he can't possibly nearly as sad as Louis is, however. Louis allows his sadness to sink into his stomach, which churns dangerously as he sits up. He reminds himself to keep his voice low and his tears silent. "But it did to me, Lou. Wanted to make sure you're a'right."

"I'm peachy," Louis assures him shakily. "I'm great. Did you see it snowed today? Well, it did. It was pretty. I went outside in it for a bit. Even made a little snowman," his voice is faltering and, shit, shit, shit. "With a carrot nose and everything."  He can't cry. He can't. There is too much time he wastes crying over Harry. Whether it's good or bad, he's sure he's shed enough tears to hydrate an entire village. He's done. If Harry's done, he's done too. "And a little scarf."

"Where are you, Louis?" Zayn's voice has quieted down to a whisper. "Where have you gone?"

"Hell." Louis can't breathe. He can't. He wants Harry more than he wants to live. He closes his eyes and curses every god there is or isn't. He closes his eyes and lets out a sob, because it hurts more than he had expected. He wants to be wanted, god dammit, and if Harry can't give him that, then who can? Harry, who knows him better than anyone; Harry, who always knows what to say. "I've skipped purgatory and gone straight to hell. Jesus, Zayn, it's hell without him here. Y'know? The thing is, I don't even know why he left. Why would he leave? He promised me he wouldn't leave." Louis is blubbering like a fucking baby, he's sure of it, but he's lost the ability to care. "And then he just snapped. Maybe this has been building up. Maybe I've pushed too hard. Maybe I stepped out of line. I don't know, fucking hell, Zayn, I don't know! He won't talk to me." He hears someone shuffling down the hallway; he's woken someone up. The bathroom door down the corridor closes, though, so he continues on after he catches his breath again. "And I just can't figure it out. Why does everything have to be a damn puzzle with him? God, he's such a fucking asshole. Why the hell do I love him? After all this shit, all this drama?"

"I know, Lou." Except, no, he doesn't. He doesn't know. No one knows. Hell, Louis doesn't even know. Harry is the only one who knows why the hell he's left and what the hell he feels, Louis thinks. It takes everything in him not to hang up the phone and launch it out the window along with every bit of confidence he has in Harry that's somehow managed to thrive somewhere deep inside of him.  "Sometime we love people who do stupid things. But you do stupid things too. You hurt people's feelings sometimes.. need I remind you of The Thing?"

"No," Louis snaps. "That's in the past. I'd appreciate it if you could let it go."

"Well maybe he can't let it go. Did you ever think of that?" It shocks Louis silent. "Maybe he still wonders if you're in love with him or if you're in love with the person he can be. It's not all about how you feel, Louis. He feels things too."

"If he needed space, he could have just said that."

"You are incredibly hard to say anything to. You don't listen, Lou. You talk and you yell and you scream, but you don't listen."

Louis blinks through sticky eyelashes. "If you've called to lecture me, I've had enough."

"I didn't call to lecture you. I called to make sure you're alright. Why do you try to make it into something negative? Can't a guy check up on his mate without everything going to shit?" Louis chooses not to respond to this. He can't think straight. "Listen. I know you're confused right now, but instead of hating the world and blaming it on everyone else, maybe you should open your goddamned eyes and see. For once. It'd be a nice change."

"I don't know what you mean," Louis bites, iciness clear in his tone. "I'm not self-centered."

"I didn't say you were."

"You fucking made it loud and clear." His voice trembles with anger. Or sadness. Or shock. He's not sure anymore. He wants to go to sleep. 

"I'm just saying," Zayn sighs, "that sometimes you tend to act without seeing it from his perspective. He's not been asking about you.. he's not been talking at all. He's not been.. he's not been. That's the thing. I don't know what happened between you two, and I honestly don't care. But you and Harry.. do you ever wonder if it's maybe just not meant to be?"

"Don't say that. You don't have the right." Louis' eye twitches. 

"Don't I?"

Louis just huffs into the microphone, but he hangs up before Zayn can utter another word. He goes to sleep pretending the words of the other boy don't reel around in his head, swimming laps around his thoughts and spiraling down the drain as he drifts into a fitful sleep full of green-eyed devils.