Moonlight | Kim Taehyung

14: Taehyung

It's been five days after the funeral and for some reason, Jungkook and Jimin manage to convince me to go to a night club with them.

As we step inside the rowdy night club, I have to squint my eyes and let them adjust to the bright lights. The club is filled with young people swaying their hips in the music. People are yelling and shouting over each other as I make my way to the bar table, Jungkook and Jimin struggling to follow behind me as people bump into each other.

I take a seat and order myself a glass of tequila, Jungkook eventually comes to my side and scoffs, "You were so against coming here, I thought you didn't want to drink."

"I changed my mind," I said nonchalantly and shrugged my shoulders.

Jungkook and I gulp down our drinks in one go. He doesn't refill his glass, but I do. I keep refilling it as soon as it's empty.

I see Jimin has found some random girl to dance with as he moves with the beat of the music. They're smiling and laughing as they move their bodies.

"So, how are you?" Jungkook asks abruptly.

"What do you mean?" I ask, although I can already assume that he's referring to Haneul's accident.

"You know what I mean," Jungkook says and I lean my back against the bar table and sigh.

I hold onto my filled up glass and stare at the bright orange liquid, "Honestly, I... I don't know."

I chuckle as a tear slides down my cheek, I look at Jungkook's serious and worried eyes as I repeat, "I don't know... I... I just miss her so much... too much. I can't stop thinking about her. Can't stop replaying the scene of her death in my head. It hurts. It hurts to think about her. It's always so... so so painful. I just want... I just want to stop the pain. Stop my stupid heart from shattering. I just... I..."

Jungkkok places an arm over my shoulder, "Someday, it won't hurt so bad. I know you'll be able to get over it."

"Get over it?!" I shout and roughly push Jungkook away, then slam my glass down on the table, which shocks him as he looks at me with wide eyes.

I cover my face with my hands as cool tears keep on trickling down my warm face. Memories of Haneul flash in my mind, which makes my heart ache and my whole body is in pain. The loud music makes my head throb. My hands are now placed on either side of my head, my fingers digging into my hair. Strands of hair cover my teary eyes as I look down at my feet.

Before Jungkook can place his hand on my back, I sit up and begin downing glasses of alcohol. He just watches me silently, his eyes filled with pity and worry.

Within an hour of drinking, I'm already drunk and my vision is becoming blurry. I don't even know how many glasses I've had, maybe five? Or six? Or maybe even more? I lost count.

I'm about to take another glass, but Jungkook grabs onto my hand to stop me, "That's enough."

I fling my hand away from his grip and try to reach for the glass, but Jungkook stops me once again, "You're drunk."

"So what? I want to get even drunker," I slur as I clumsily reach my hand out, but end up accidentally knocking the glass over.

The liquid spills onto my clothes and stains my previously clean white shirt orange. I groan and I'm about to tell the bartender to get me another drink. But, Jungkook is quicker. He hastily seizes my hand and forcefully pulls me up from my chair, then drags me out the night club. He ignores my wailing as we move through the crowds of sweaty people. My head is pounding and I can barely open my eyes. I can sense something sour and bitter coming up my throat.

I puke as soon as we're outside.

I lean against the wall with my eyes closed. I'm breathing heavily as I try to calm myself. Slowly, I reopen my eyes and I see Jungkook standing in front of me with arms crossed against his chest.

"I'm going back inside," I say.

Before I can even take a step forward, he grips onto my arm and says sternly, "No, you're not."

I roll my eyes and throw a punch in his direction, but he dodges it quickly. I keep trying to hit him. but he manages to dodge my blows every time.

"Stop being so reckless, Taehyung!" he yells.

"How can I not be?" I scream back at him, "I... I can't take this suffering anymore."

I soon break down and my puffy red eyes are full of tears again. I'm crouching down on the ground with my head between my knees. My whole body is slowly being taken over by numbness, but my heart and head are still throbbing. The pain is just too much to take.

"I just want to die," I exclaim as I'm hitting my own head, trying to release the pain, but it only hurts more, "Kill me... please... kill me and let me be with Haneul..."

The conversation I had with Luna in the work flashes into my mind. I promised her I'll get better, promised her that I'll try to move on. But, I don't know if I can...

"I'm... I'm so sorry..." I whisper, "So so sorry."

Jungkook sighs and kneels down by my side, "Taehyung..."

I look up at him, the tears clouding my vision and the alcohol in my system making me dizzy, "I...I have no reason to live anymore..."

"That's not true. You have us. Jimin and I," Jungkook reassures.

"I've been ignoring the both of you for so long, how can you... how can you forgive me so easily? How can you be so... nice to me and still worry about me?" I mutter in between sobs.

"We're friends. We're like brothers," he says with a smile and places a hand on my shoulder.

I manage to smile back at him, "Thank you..."

Right at this moment, Jimin comes out from the club with a beer bottle in his hand as he slurs, "Hey, guys..."

He walks over to us unsteadily, before passing out onto the ground beside me. Jungkook scratches the back of his neck and I chuckle, although I myself can barely keep my eyes open.

"What am I going to do now?" he says in annoyance and I just shrug, "How am I suppose to carry two drunk guys? One who's already passed out and one who's going to pass out any second now."

I watch as Jungkook calls someone, but I'm too intoxicated to make out a word he's saying. My eyelids feel heavy and I let them close.

The next time I reopen them, a girl with pink hair is here and there's another girl beside her. She's beautiful is the first thought I have. The way her hair falls on her shoulders. The way her rosy lips twitches as she glances at me. I squint my eyes to focus on her and realise that she's Aurora and the pinked hair girl is her sister.

Jungkook pecks Coral on the forehead, thanking her and her sister for coming to help. Jungkook and Coral lift Jimin up and walk on either side of him, whilst Aurora helps me to get up. My head instantly begins to pound as soon as I'm on my feet. I grumble and cuss under my breath as I put my arm around Aurora's shoulders. I lean against her as I walk groggily. My head is leaning on her shoulder and her arm is wrapped around my torso to steady me. Each step takes a lot of effort, but we eventually manage to get to Jungkook's car.

My vision becomes hazy and I see Haneul. Aurora is no longer the one holding onto me, but Haneul is. I can feel her long hair sweep over my face. I can see her smile brightly at me.

"Haneul..." I mumble before passing out.