Moonlight | Kim Taehyung

39: Luna

Despite being quite successful in avoiding Hera and Aurora and even though it's now almost been a month, I'm still apprehensive about seeing them at school. I've successfully ignored Hera's rude comments whenever I enter the classroom and I leave the room as soon as class ends, so she soon gives up and stops bothering me as she doesn't get the reaction she wants from me.

Yet, I still have to deal with Aurora and the day in which I unfortunately bump into Aurora comes, as she hurriedly walks towards me once she sees me exit the classroom.

I'm about to turn the other way, but she speeds up and calls out to me, "Luna! Wait!"

I sigh and give-up on avoiding her. As long as we're going to the same school, I can't avoid her forever and I'll have to talk to her one day. I turn to face her as she's standing by my side out of breath from running towards me.

"I... I need to talk to you," she begins to say nervously. "Let's talk after school? At the bench where we first met?"

I nod my head even though I don't necessarily want to talk to her, but I can't say no to her when she's looking at me with such sad eyes, so I agree to meet her after school.

She smiles at me gratefully and says, "Thank you, I really appreciate that you're willing to talk to me... I was so afraid that you wouldn't want to... "

I don't say anything and just nod my head and walk away to get to my next class. I suppose a part of me wants to forgive her, yet a part of me still isn't ready to. The wounds she has caused aren't so easy to heal. I still feel pained by her hurtful words, I can still remember the way my heart ached and the way it felt as though she was stabbing my heart with the awful things she said to me. I mean she wished that I was dead. How can I forgive someone who says that kind of thing? She was supposed to be my friend, someone I could trust. At least she regrets her actions and is willing to make up for what she did to me, so I guess she deserves a chance to explain herself to me.

---

I take the bus back home, then walk to the place where I first met Aurora. She's already there and sitting on the bench, so I walk over to her and sit beside her.

"Hey," I say as I sit down and she smiles at me.

"You came," she replies. "I was afraid that you wouldn't."

I shrug and lean back, "I know that we'll eventually have this talk and I don't want to have to keep avoiding you, it's been so hard to ignore you or Hera when I keep seeing the both of you in the corridors."

She chuckles at that, "It's been hard for me to find the right moment the catch you before you run away from me, I wanted to talk to you sooner, but you keep ignoring my texts and you run away whenever you see me. I don't blame you though, I deserve to be ignored and I deserve to sit alone during lunch. Where have you been at lunch anyways? I don't see you at the cafeteria anymore."

"I haven't been eating at the cafeteria, I've just been having lunch at the bleachers or having lunch with Ms Lee Yoora, the music teacher," I reply.

I've been talking to Ms Lee ever since my mum agreed to let me study music, as I need her to help me brush up on my singing, so I've been practising during lunchtimes. It's nice to play music with her again, she gives me so much support and she makes me feel more confident in playing music and singing without having to hide my talents.

"Anyways, get to the point. What did you need to talk to me about?" I continue to say.

Aurora takes in a deep breath, then sighs before saying, "I'm sorry. I'm really sorry for saying such mean things to you and causing you to faint. I'm sorry that I was being so reckless and impulsive that day. Even though it's been already almost been a month ago, I still remember that day so clearly and I keep hating myself for the things I said to you. I'm sorry for being such a selfish bitch. I was just so frustrated, I wanted so badly for Taehyung to feel in the same way as I feel for him. I was just so jealous of the relationship the both of you have with one another."

She's looking straight into my eyes as she talks. Tears are brimming in her eyes and she's fiddling with her fingers nervously, but she never breaks eye contact with me. I stay silent and wait for her to finish talking before saying anything.

"I know that saying sorry is meaningless, but I swear to you I'll show you that I'm really sorry and that I regret the choices I made. I regret everything I said to you. You're one of the nicest people I know, I'm so grateful to have met someone like you. You're the kindest and greatest friend I ever had, and I really hope we can continue being friends. You've done so much for me, yet all I did in return was be mean to you. I'm sorry... I truly am and I really want to try my best to make it up to you. I'll do anything, just tell me what I can do for you to forgive me." she pleads as she looks at me with apologetic eyes and a tear rolls down her cheek. "Please can we just move on from that day and forget whatever happened... please? I just want to be friends again. I promise you I no longer have feelings for Taehyung and I only see him as just a friend. I've moved on from him... and I... I'm actually seeing Jimin right now. You might not believe me and I myself am surprised that I've moved on from my feelings so quickly, but that's the way I am I guess..."

"Aurora..." I say softly. "I... I would love to continue being friends with you and I would love to forgive you... but you just hurt me too much, I don't know if it's wise for me to forgive you right now. I need more time."

She brushes her tears away and nods enthusiastically, "I'm not expecting an answer right away, you can take as much time as you need, I'll be waiting for your answer. Just know that I miss being friends with you..."

I smile at that, "Me too... I just need more time to sort things out. My mind is a mess right now. I want to forgive you, but at the same time you really pained me with the things you said."

"I know..." she says softly with a despaired smile. "And I'm awfully sorry... I wasn't thinking straight, I was stressed out, yet I know that that's no excuse for the things I said to you. I would do anything to take back the words I said."

I can understand that a lot has gone on in her life as well, it's not just me who's having a chaotic life. She's still thinking about the right way to deal with the situation between her biological and adoptive parents. I want to help her, but I don't know if I'm in the right position to help her right now or talk to her about it.

Nonetheless, I still ask her, "How are things with your parents?"

She shrugs and sighs, "I'm honestly so clueless as to what I can do. I want to follow your advice and try living with my biological parents and I'm sure they really want me to live with them. They want to have their daughter back, but I don't know if I want that. I don't know if I want to see them as parental figures, I mean I have my adoptive parents who I always thought of as my real parents. It's just so confusing. Everything is so complex. I just want to live a normal life without feeling so stressed out..."

"My biological parents want me to stay with them in Korea next month, during Christmas break, but I don't know if I should or not," Aurora continues to say. "I feel so conflicted...."

I place a hand on her shoulder to comfort her as she seems to be stressing out so much about the situation, "That might be a good thing to do. Don't you want to get to know them better? I can understand that you hate them for leaving you at the orphanage, but they're sorry for doing that right? And they want to gain your forgiveness? It's kind of like the situation we have. You're begging for my forgiveness when I feel a slight hatred towards you."

"I suppose so," she says and leans back against the bench and looks up at the sky, then closes her eyes. "I need to escape from everything and take a break. Maybe going to Korea with them would be a good idea..."

We sit beside each other without uttering another word as we relish one another's company until the sun sets and I have to get back home for dinner.