Moonlight | Kim Taehyung

37: Luna

Once I arrive at the cafe and Taehyung gets to work, I turn my phone on and see dozens of texts and missed calls from my mum and Mina. I sigh, feeling apprehensive as to whether or not to return their texts and calls, as my phone keeps blaring with notifications. I know it's not my sister's fault, and I know I can't blame her or my mum for being concerned about me, but I just don't feel like talking to them right now. I just want to take a break.

I eventually decide to text my sister and within half an hour after she texts me back telling me that she's coming here, she's walking through the doors of the cafe and taking a seat opposite me. Her expression stern and distraught as she takes my hand in hers.

"Don't you have work today?" I ask.

She ignores my question and squeezes my hands tightly as her eyes become teary with worry when she glances at my wounded arm that's bandaged with gauze, "You made me so stressed, Luna. You have no idea how fretful mum and I were, we were so afraid that you'll hurt yourself more. I was afraid that your... your old ways of hurting yourself were coming back..."

I stare at my sister's hand that's grasping onto mine as she talks. I know that she cares about me and that she loves me, but I just can't help but pull my hand away from hers and lean back against my seat in frustration.

"Do you actually care about me? Does mum?" I taunt. "I keep thinking that the reason why you're so in favour of me studying music instead of law, is so that you'll get the spotlight and you'll be mum's favourite."

"Luna..." she says softly with a pained expression and hurt voice. as she takes my hand once again. "I would never... I genuinely care about you and I really hope you can live a happy life, Luna. You're my younger sister and I love you."

I know that what she's saying is true, but it's just so hard for me to believe her when I feel as though I despise her for being better than me, even though I honestly don't. She's my sister and she has helped me through hardships and cared for me in so many ways, I can't find it in myself to hate her. In spite of everything, she was the only one who stood by my side during the years I was drowning in depression and anxiety. She was the one who forced my parents to see a therapist and begged them to let me sing and play music again. It was always her who cared about me no matter what. So how could I possibly hate her? How could I possibly believe that she was pushing me away by telling mum that she should let me study music?

"I'm sorry..." I mutter as tears pool in my eyes and they threaten to trickle down my flustered face. "I'm sorry for doubting you when all you're doing is being kind and caring towards me. I'm sorry... I take back my words."

Mina moves to sit beside me and wraps her arms around me as I burrow my head into her shoulder and whimper as I keep muttering how sorry I am. She strokes my back and hushes me.

As I keep sobbing, I suddenly hear a voice, "Luna... darling..."

I look up and see my mum standing there looking at me with guilty eyes with tears brimming in them. I slowly pull away from Mina and sigh exasperatedly.

Mum takes a seat opposite me and my sister. I avoid her gaze as she gulps nervously and opens her mouth as if she wants to say something, but closes it again and exhales.

Mina grasps my hand and mutters, "Give her a chance to explain herself, okay? I promise that she actually does care about you and wants to fix her relationship with you. I have to go to work now."

I watch as she stands up and sends me a small encouraging smile before turning her back to leave my mum and I to talk. I stare at her back as she leaves the cafe. I keep staring at her disappearing form, not daring to turn to face my mum.