Niall's Cancer Battle: A 1D Fanfic

Chapter Five: Dreams and Tears and Death

**A/N** This chapter broke my heart. I was literally crying as I wrote this. I'm sorry for slow updates! I hope you guys are enjoying this story!!

P.S. You might need a box of tissues.

Chapter Five

**Zayn's POV**

It's dark.

I don't know where I am. I'm confused...disorientated.

I'm walking forward but I'm afraid of the never ending darkness. I hate the dark.

I don't dare reach out, terrified something or someone might take my hand.

The lights turn on and I'm blinded momentarily. The light heats against my face and I feel a sweat coming on. I stumble forward and the crowd's screams blare to life. I put a hand over my eyes and look out into the crowd.

Thousands of people cover the arena. I almost scream from the freaky scene. There are no eyes on these people, only gaping holes. Their mouths form perfect "o"s as they scream and scream. Their hands reaching out towards the stage and I scoot further back.

I look around me, desperately seeking one of the lads to comfort me. This is all too weird...too strange. I run from side to side of the stage, yelling in a voice no one can hear over the screams.

Niall! Louis! Harry! Liam!

They're no where to be seen. No where to even be heard. They're just gone.

I'm panicking. I can feel my breathing hitch as I become more and more frightened. The lights burning into me, hotter than the sun. Burning. Burning. Burning.

The scene changes. I'm on stage in my blue varsity jacket and dark denim jeans. A mic is in my hand and the boys are around me singing.

"Cause I can love you more than this. Can love you more than this." I wait for Niall's voice to come on and sing his solo, but it doesn't come.

Louis walks towards me with a smile plastered on his face. "Zayn, you're screwing up here," he mutters under his breath through clenched teeth and his forced smile. I look at him confused. It wasn't my solo.

"It's Niall's solo," I say.

Louis looks at me confused, as if I've lost it. I hear Liam pick up singing and Harry harmonizes. I look around again and don't see Niall anywhere.

"Where's Niall?" I ask. I don't care about singing right now.

"Niall's gone lad. He's been gone..," Louis trails off and I feel myself go into shock. Everything feels frozen. I can't...I just..can't.

"Wh-wha-what?" It takes me a couple moments to get the question out. Everything sounds like a dull roar. This isn't right. It's just not right.

"Niall's dead. Cancer got the best of him," Louis says and I realize the coldness in his voice. The cold, harsh sound that doesn't fit him at all. He's no longer the fun Louis I've grown to love...he's robotic, forced, and fake. He isn't Louis Tomlinson.

The scene changes again and I'm suddenly sitting in a hotel room. Harry and Louis are yelling at each other and Liam is downing shots one after another. This is wrong though...this never happens.

"HARRY YOU SELFISH BITCH!" Louis screams at the top of his lungs and I watch him slap Harry across the face. Liam doesn't make any effort towards stopping them. Instead he continues to take shots.

I don't understand. What the hell was going on? The lads were never like this. Harry and Louis didn't fight. Liam didn't drink. This wasn't real. It couldn't be.

"WELL GUESS WHAT LOU. NIALL'S DEAD. HE ISN'T COMING BACK!" Harry screams and pushes Louis away from him. Louis stumbles backward a few steps before banging up against a small table.

"Lads. Stop it," Liam slurs so it sounds like "Lahdzz, shtaap eat" instead. He's beyond drunk at this point. He slams the shot glass down and the contents spill over onto the already alcohol covered table.

"What's going on?!" I yell and get to my feet. They don't even react in the slightest. "HEY!" I yell and reach for a pillow to throw at them. My hand goes straight through it and I leap back. What the hell...?

"WHAT ABOUT ZAYN, HARRY? YOU KNEW HE'D DO ANYTHING FOR NIALL! YOU DIDN'T EVEN ATTEMPT-"

"DON'T YOU DARE BRING UP ZAYN NOW. IT'S NOT LIKE I SAW IT COMING-"

"EXACTLY HARRY. BECAUSE YOU'RE SO FUCKING SELFISH. SO FUCKING SELFISH HARRY. YOU IGNORANT-"

"SHUT UP LOUIS. WE ALL KNEW NIALL WAS GOING TO DIE!" Harry screams but I hear his voice break and suddenly he's caving into himself. He lowers himself to the ground and pulls his head to his knees. He's vulnerable in this state of mind. I can hardly bare to see him on the ground pulling at his curls as if that would help him clear his mind. The tears begin streaming down my face as I watch the scene.

Louis stands there looking down at Harry heartlessly. He's angry, distant, and cold. He doesn't smile anymore. He doesn't make random outbursts. He isn't Louis. He doesn't comfort Harry. I don't even think he cares as he watches the curly haired boy weep into himself.

"Niall didn't deserve to die," Louis finally speaks, his fists clenched and jaw tensed as he hovers over Harry. "And Zayn didn't deserve to attempt it."

I stand there shocked as I watch Louis leave the room. Harry just continues crying and muttering incoherent things. Liam slips out of his chair and drops to the ground, his head audibly banging against the hard tiles. He lies unmoving but his chest slowly rises and falls.

I'm pulled from the scene and I accept it. I don't want to remain in that place of familiar strangers. I don't want to think about what I had just witnessed.

I wake up slowly, my eyes blinking open and I realize they're wet with tears. My pillow and face both stained with my tears. I tear the blanket off of me and run out of my bedroom, throwing the door open so quickly that it bangs against the wall. I swing open the door to the room I know Niall's in and let myself in.

I stop midstep as I look at the blonde boy in the room. He's on his knees by the bed, his head bowed and his forehead resting against his intwined hands. His shoulders slump forward and I get the feeling of an old presence. I watch as his shoulders suddenly start shaking and I know he's crying.

"Niall," I whisper out and run over to him, pulling him into my arms. He's bawling now, his body shaking. I hug him tightly as if I could just hold him in this world by doing this. "Niall, it'll be okay. I promise," I lie because I have nothing else to say.

Niall shakes his head and lifts it to look me in the eyes. I take notice in how his once bright blue eyes have now dimmed. He's giving up and it's breaking my heart. I can't have him gone. I just can't.

"We can get another doctor. We can beat this Niall. No ones going to let you die," I say mostly to convince myself but it's all lies. I know it's lies. He knows it's lies.

"But we can't Zayn..," Niall's bottom lip trembles and his blue eyes widen. The tears now freshly produced, fall down his face effortlessly. "I'm going to die...no matter how much we deny it."

I shake my head suddenly angry at the world. At God for giving Niall this killing disease. At Niall for drinking and drinking and not knowing his limits. At me for probably causing more damage with my smoking. At everything and everyone on the whole fucking planet. I hate it. I hate it all.

Niall's going to die in less than a year and there's nothing to be done to stop it.

Nothing.