Niall's Cancer Battle: A 1D Fanfic

Chapter Twenty: Breakdowns

**A/N** This chapter is really short cause I really wanted to update, and this was on my mind. I know I owe you a longer chapter and I will get it out soon (: But for now, enjoy this one. I got teary. AHH. 

Chapter Twenty: Breakdowns

** Niall's POV **

I feel cold, broken. Louis' words repeatedly echoing in my head. He wants me dead already. This whole thing is putting them through misery. My life is ending and their's is being held down. The only thing I'm doing is keeping them from being happy...from them enjoying life. 

I sit in a corner of a random room I had found open. The lights are out, the blinds shut and there's nothing but darkness. Nothing around to distract me from my tears falling down my face. I can only think about Louis' words as he glared at me with so much hate...

I sob, covering my mouth with my fist. I hate this. I hate all of this. Why couldn't I just die already?! How much longer did I have to suffer until I just didn't wake up, or one of my hallucinations went too far... How much longer do I have on earth with the boys? 

God, and the only thing I've done in the past week is pity myself and the boys. If I really want to make a difference, I need to stop thinking about all the things going wrong and focus on what's going right. I have to make the rest of my time worth something at least. I can't just wait around to drop dead. 

I wipe of my tears with determination. My mind is set for a direct path towards success. I will make the rest of my time count. I will not go down without a fight or a story behind my name. 

No more sitting around. 

With a wide grin on my face and a set mind, I leave my hiding spot to find the boys. No matter what was happening with them, I would live my life with no regrets.

** Harry's POV **

I meet Zayn at the ground floor, Liam is no where to be seen and I have yet to find neither Niall nor Louis. I bite my lip and wave Zayn over. "Hey you alright?" he asks when he reaches me. 

I wave him off needing a bit of space to myself. "FIne. Just concerned about the lads," I say. "Come on, bets are they are somewhere near the top floor. Or at least the one Niall has been staying at." 

Zayn nods and we both walk back towards the elevator I had ridden down to the ground floor. In the elevator, Zayn turns to me. "I'm sorry Harry."

"For what?"

"For seperating everyone even when you guys said it wouldn't be a good idea."

"It's f-"

"It's not fine though Harry. Don't you see what we're doing?" Zayn groans and puts his hands on the back of his head. "No one is acting themself lately. We aren't One Direction-"

"So what are you saying Zayn?! Stop One Direction?!" I interupt him, not sure if I want to hear the rest of his sentence. This was ridiculous. One week and there's going to be no such thing as One Direction anymore? I don't think so.

Zayn shakes his head slowly. "I'm not saying there isn't One Direction...but by the way things are going. I just think that maybe...One Direction should be...put on hold."

I stay silent, unsure of what to say to him. My mind is a jumbled mess. I can't think about not having One Direction exist anymore. I can't think about not having the lads around me as my support system. I don't want to believe that Zayn thinks One Direction is disolving, breaking up even as we try so hard to keep together. I want to yell at Zayn, tell him that everything will turn out better. That Niall will still be around in a month, or two, or even maybe a year. I want so badly to just stop the thoughts in my head and the lads', replacing their thoughts instead of times when everything seemed simple. I want to go back and never know Niall has cancer. I want to stop Zayn from smoking his cigarettes in front of everyone. God, I want to just stop the world from whatever they're doing and just scream about pain and agony, about the feeling of losing someone you love dearly. 

But I take one look at Zayn, his dark eyes filled with tears and cheeks stained, and I know. I know how much pain every single one of us is going through. I know the thoughts within Louis' head based on the few sentences he let slip. I can feel the emotional and physical pain Niall has to go through each and everyday as we beg and plead for him to get better. 

I break down. My knees cave in and I'm on the floor of the elevator. The choking sobs breaking out of me, burning my throat like glass. My head is exploding with pain and I can see dots of color. I smash my fists into the floor, screaming about the unfairness of the world. 

I hate this. I wish I was the one with cancer.

** Zayn's POV **

When Harry drops to the floor I feel my heart stop. For a moment I think he's passed out. 

Until he screams. 

His body convulses as he sobs into the floor. His screams are incoherent but I can piece out his pleas to take the pain away. I can't move as I hear him chant repeatedly, "give me Niall's cancer." It's the most unselfish thing I've ever witnessed and it breaks my heart. How could this boy be willing to give up his own life for someone else. It's breathtaking and heartbreaking. I want to move to him and pull him into my arms, taking away some of his pain. 

Harry sceams again, the sound vibrating off the walls. My ears ring from the sound and goosebumps rise all over my body. Harry's screaming is not something you want to witness. 

I hit the emergency stop button on the elevator button panel and wait for it to come to a complete stop before I drop to my knees beside Harry. "Harry?" I murmur quietly, watching as his tears pool beneath him.

"It's not fair Zayn," he moans, tossing his head back down onto his arms. "IT'S NOT FAIR!"

"I know, I know Harry. I know okay? I don't have an answer though. I don't. I can't help-"

"There's that word again. Can't," Harry says bitterly. He lifts his head and stares directly at me with his red-rimmed green eyes. I refuse to look away even though the look resembles someone so deadly that I feel threatened. 

"Harry, I know that we've all been experiencing breakdowns lately, but I need you to get off the floor and help me look for the lads okay? Mate, I need you to help me right now," I say, dropping the subject of his sudden meltdown. There is no point in trying to pick up spilt milk with my own bare hands. 

"DON'T YOU CARE AT ALL?!" Harry screams at me suddenly and I flinch away. "ZAYN, GODDAMN IT. DON'T YOU CARE?! ANSWER ME!"

"I CARE! OKAY?! I CARE HARRY! WHAT DO YOU WANT ME TO DO?!" I scream back at him, tired from the energy it takes to try and reason with him. He's stubborn.

Harry hangs his head suddenly and shakes his head. "I'm sorry Zayn, I'm sorry for yelling at you," he whispers and I stare wide-eyed at him. He is really acting bipolar and it freaks me out.. No normal person should be able to switch emotions that easily. "I don't know what got into me."

I pull him into a hug, no longer able to watch the way his sobs shake his body. "Harry don't be sorry. Just please keep your head up and help me lookf for them okay?"

Harry nods and gets off the floor. "Okay."

"Thank you," I get off the floor and hit a button to reactivate the elevator again. "Whatever happens, we have eachother."

"Right," Harry nods but I don't feel 100% confident in his answer. But for now, it's good enough. 

**A/N** So once again sorry for it being short. 

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