Chapter Twenty-One: I Wish

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Chapter Twenty-One: I Wish

**Louis' POV**

I wish Niall didn't have cancer. I wish it was all some stupid joke. I wish I could look at him without feeling a certain degree of anger and hate towards him. This is all his fault really. The band being torn apart because of him having cancer. It all feels selfish for me to feel this way, but I can't hold back anymore. Louis fucking Tomlinson doesn't hold back for anyone.

I get out of the chair I'm seated in and walk back towards the elevator. I could use some fresh air. I don't even care where the other lads are right now.

I hit the elevator button and wait impatiently. Why isn't this thing working?! I look at the elevator floor number at the top and groan loudly as it stays on the same number. The elevators must be having some malfunctions or there's a million people trying to squeeze into it. Whatever the reason is, it's annoying.

I walk away from the elevator, choosing to sit on a little window sill overlooking the outside. I can see the elevator if I stick my head out so I'll know if it's arrived. I lean against the window and just stare out at the people who look like little ants below me.

After what feels like hours, even though my phone indicates it's only been a few minutes, the elevator dings. Finally! I am way too lazy to walk down a bunch of flights of stairs.

"-should have seen his face Zayn. I've never seen him so cold...so distant," Harry's voice travels to me and I peek out from where I'm hidden. He and Zayn are standing by the elevator, their back to me.

"Maybe he's just going through a phase. You know he'd never actually say those things," Zayn tries to reason with Harry, putting his hand on his shoulder. I can tell they're talking about me.

"But he meant them Zayn! Every last word of it! You didn't see his face. The hate. The hurt..," Harry trails off sadly, his head dropping a bit. He shakes his curls. "You didn't see Louis like I did," he whispers but I can still hear it.

"Harry please stop crying," Zayn begs and pulls Harry into a hug.

It's my fault. I've caused those tears..

"What can we do Zayn?! Everything is just breaking apart...I can't stop hearing Lou's words. Him yelling about how he doesn't care. He's totally done Zayn..."

"Harry please, we both know Louis. He'll come around. I guarantee it," Zayn and Harry hug eachother and I can hear Harry's sobs. I choke back my own as I watch some of the strongest people I know break down. Because of me.

I'm about to get off the window sill when I hear Niall. "Harry? Zayn?" Niall calls out and they both look up and turn towards him. Harry quickly wipes his eyes but I know that his crying will be apparent.

"Why the tears mate?!" Niall speaks as if he's actually happy, his voice full of excitement.

I stare at the blonde boy, trying to figure out how his emotions have changed so suddenly. I can only see his wide smile and hyper movement. I know that if I could see his face that his braced-smile would be spread wide across. His attitude has changed drastically.

"Doesn't matter. Why the wide grin?" Harry asks back.

"I've decided some stuff when I had time alone."

"What kind of stuff?"

"Important, life changing stuff!" Niall beams.

Harry actually chuckles and grabs Niall around the neck, pulling him down into a headlock. "What has gotten into you?!" Harry exclaims and ruffles Niall'a hair.

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