Don't Look Back - A Niam Horayne Love Story

Chapter 9 - Tell Me Your Secrets

I woke the following morning with no idea where I was. As my eyes adjusted, I realized I’d ended up in the same place I always did when I needed a little break: Harry’s stepdad’s bungalow. It was the place I first realized I’d gained four new best friends, and the place where everything really began for One Direction. It was no wonder that this place made me feel like a safe place to think about things.

I wondered how the boys were doing. Had they read my letter yet? Did any of them care that I was gone? Most importantly, did Niall care?

That letter might not have been the brightest idea I’d ever had. It basically told Niall I loved him but couldn’t be with him, and writing it down on paper would be a great way to make sure the others knew about us. What if he’d decided that since we didn’t work out, nobody else should ever know? Would he hate me even more now because I told the secret we’d been working for months to keep? I didn’t think I could take any more.

Sighing, I placed my bags in the room I’d stayed in last time I was here. I needed to do something to get my mind off my life so I could focus better later, when I knew I would have to confront my issues again. Changing into a set of fresh casual clothes, I left for a stroll around the area.

Soon enough I found myself in a city I’d never been to before. We must’ve always gone the other way from Holmes Chapel when I was with the boys. It was a cute little town, with stores and restaurants lining the main roads and people randomly milling about. It was relaxing to be in a place where I wasn’t as well-known as I was used to, and I could actually walk around without hiding my face or watching for cameras being shoved at me every couple seconds. Maybe I should suggest moving to a city like this to management and the boys; I’d have to talk to them about it another time.

I found a neat looking little shop and opened the door to feel a gust of cold air from inside. Looking around, I found it to be just like the family-run shops I knew of, and smiled at the familiarity. Taking a seat, a waitress was soon at my side.

“Hello there, my name is Cameron and I’ll be helping you today, what can I get for you?” she asked with a smile as she handed me a menu.

“Just a cup of black tea, please,” I examined her face cautiously to make sure she didn’t know who I was, or if she did, she wasn’t going to freak out.

“It should be out right away.” She took the menu back and retreated to the other side of the room.

As I waited, I realized this was somewhere Danielle and I would’ve gone if we were ever in the area. I would’ve held her hand from across the table as she smiled and laughed while we made small talk. Her eyes would’ve been glittering with happiness, and I would’ve ordered green tea instead of my favorite because it was the one she liked best and we could share it. I missed the comfort I always felt around her, even though I was with Niall.

This wasn’t a place I could’ve gone with Niall. We could go out to normal restaurants together and people would take it as us eating out as friends, but going to a more romantic place like this without the other boys would start rumors we couldn’t afford to have. I sighed, wishing we could’ve gone somewhere like this.

“Your tea,” a voice interrupted me, and I looked up to see Cameron placing a steaming cup on the table in front of me. “You seem upset, and honestly, I’m pretty bored right now. Nobody really comes in at this time; they’re all working or in school. Mind if I take a seat? It might do you some good to have a friend,” she offered, and I nodded. She was exactly right; what I needed right now more than anything was just someone I could open up to and not have to worry about their reaction because they weren’t a part of my daily life. I was so messed up.