Desired

8. Too Much of Everything

I didn't know it was possible for your brain to shut down due to being overfed too much information.

I do now.

Haiden doesn't stop talking. She is still currently talking however her voice has faded into the background as I walk around the kitchen she's brought me to.

I run my fingers along the counters and large hunks of metal, their purpose completely unknown to me. There are handles everywhere, and when I tug on them, they open to display piles of cutlery, dishes, pots and other items I can't name.

My chest hurts as I'm reminded of Dab. I was never allowed in the kitchen with him, and I never once asked how they prepared the food or how they organised it so there was a minimum amount of touch. I wish I had now. I wish I'd taken more interest.

Dab always said the kitchen was run with military precision. I never understood what that meant. I never tried to understand.

'Kit?' Haiden's voice snaps me out of my trance. She smiles widely. 'You must be hungry. There are loads of jars of pickled veg. No one will mind if we eat one or two. There are never any leftovers from mealtimes, people always come back for seconds until it runs out, so when I get hungry I raid the pickled veg collection. It's the only thing available.'

Haiden reaches out to take my hand. I step back so her hand passes through the air my body was standing in only a second ago. She shrugs casually as though my actions don't bother her, however, she is unable to hide the frown which flickers across her face.

Turns out, Techies aren't the only ones addicted to touching.

Haiden keeps attempting to touch me, to pat me on the shoulder or hold my arm to direct me somewhere. I keep telling myself I'll let her make contact the next time. Every time, my body refuses to listen to instructions and jerks away. I've stopped telling myself I won't do it next time. I need to stop lying to myself.

'The community you were with before, were they settled or did they move about?' Haiden walks over towards a wall of jars. Her finger runs along the labels until she grabs two jars and turns towards me.

'We lived in a summer camp.'

'Camp? You lived in tents?'

'No wooden cabins.'

'When did your community settle there?'

'It was founded nineteen years ago.'

'Nineteen years ago. Wow. Thats amazing. I haven't heard of any community being around for that long. So you were born there?'

I nod. I was born within the walls surrounding my settlement even if it wasn't in the Naturalist settlement. 'What are we eating?'

'We've got pickled potatoes with carrots and pickled cabbage.' Haiden places the jars on the table. She opens several drawers, retrieves two bowls and two forks. 'How many people were in your group?'

'Around a hundred.' I really don't want to talk about me or where I've come from. 'What about you? You started telling me about you and Roman but didn't get to finish.'

'Ahhh... Roman. He's my saviour. I wouldn't be alive without him. He thinks I'm being silly when I say stuff like that, but it's true. I love him. He also thinks I'm being silly when I say that too. But seriously, what's not to love? Like I said earlier, our families joined this religious cult but everyone died apart from us. I was around one and he was fifteen, and he looked after me. He didn't have to. He could have left me or put me out of my misery or handed me over to others but he didn't. I know it was just the two of us for a couple of years before he met other people and they moved in here.' Haiden twists open the lid of each jar and scoops the contents into two separate bowls.