Desired

16. Time To Admit

In the shower block, I sit in the dark on the damp cold floor; my head resting on my knees which are tucked into my chest.

Fara and Carlos told me and Bo to come back later as they're still treating Haiden. Haiden who wasn't moving. Haiden who wasn't talking. Haiden who wasn't making a sound. She wasn't doing anything an alive human should be doing.

I exhale shakily. No matter how much I wipe my eyes, the tears refuse to stop falling.

A knock on the door makes my head snap up; my heart starts pounding.

'Kit?' Zach says, pushing open the door.

I squint against the light shining from his hand. He strides towards me and drops to his knees. He raises his hand to my face, hesitates briefly before skimming his thumb across my tender cheek from when I was hit in the face earlier. I wince.

'You're hurt,' he says.

I shrug. 'If you're caught in the female shower block, you'll be in trouble.'

'I'd be surprised if anyone walks into the female shower block in the middle of the night.' Zach places a bundle on the floor next to me. 'Can I hold you?'

'You never need to ask, Zach,' I whisper.

His arms wrap around me. I inhale his scent and sink into his chest. His warmth doesn't completely rid me of the icy coldness numbing my insides. I'm not sure what will.

'The fire was a clever idea,' I mumble.

'Your fire made me think of it,' Zach says quietly. His grip tightens around me. 'What happened?'

'They saw us and started chasing us. One was punching Bo, the other shot Haiden when she tried to stop them.'

'What about you?'

'They hit me across the face that's all.' I don't mention their hands were all over me. I swallow the bile searing up my throat. My muscles tense as I remember their invasion of my body.

Part of me wonders if I'm being oversensitive. I don't like contact, maybe others wouldn't be as bothered by what happened.

I tilt my head backwards and find Zach's mouth. His hand dips under my top and holds my waist. I deepen the kiss, holding onto him, trying to use the pleasure of his touch to override the crawling sensation rippling across my skin. It doesn't work. The events of earlier are too fresh. I sob loudly and more tears start to roll down my cheeks.

Zach stops the kiss and rests his forehead against mine.

'I'm never going to be safe, am I?' I croak. 'I feel like I'm always going to be running. Those people know I'm resistant somehow. Everyone always wants something from me once they find out I'm resistant. '

'The people here don't want anything from you.'

'By staying here, I'm putting everyone at risk.'

'You don't know that.'

'Those people are going to come back for me, and if they have found me then the Techies will find me.'

'We'll figure something out.' Zach wipes away my tears with his thumbs.

'How?' I say.

'You're not leaving, Kit. Right now, this is the safest place for you.' Zach pulls me up to standing. My body creaks; every joint resists being used and my limbs feel weak and useless. Zach starts to pull my top off and I stiffen.

'Zach, what are-'

'You need a shower. You're covered in...' Zach pauses, not wanting to say Haiden's blood, '...dirt.'