𝐓𝐇𝐔𝐆 𝐋𝐔𝐕. || 𝐭𝐮𝐩𝐚𝐜 𝐬.

39. Who can I run too?

September 16th, 1993

8:00 am.

Emoni,

"Thanks for meeting up with me so early. I didn't know who else to see." I spoke.

"No your fine. Just tell me why you wanted to meet so early." Kelli soothed me while she hit record.

"I can't cope with this alone. And I'm so angry because he's supposed to be here right now, ya know? I need him here."

"Mhmm, I can only imagine your pain Emoni. But Birdie wouldn't want you to say cooped up in the house crying about him. He'd want you to be happy."

"I know," I sniffled. "But I can't see myself happy without him. He's gone." I cried.

"Here." I watched as she ripped out a piece of paper from her notepad. "I want you to try a few things. These will help release you from your pain."

I quickly grabbed the paper from her hand, reading over it. "Really? I don't have time for this stuff."

"Well, make time. I know going out doesn't seem like the right thing to do right now but trust me, it will help." She tried assuring me.

"I need something to do in the house, I've been really under the weather."

"Why don't you try praying?"

My brow raised in confusion. "Praying?"

"Yeah, it helps me get through most of my days. Ever since a couple of years ago, my husband's passing. I've never been the same." She sighed.

"Your husband passed?" I questioned.

"Yeah, um actually he was murdered as well. I found him in our home. He was the one who pushed me to follow my dreams of becoming a publicist. I started studying to become one more once he passed, it was the only thing that helped me cope."

"Wow, I'm so sorry to hear that. That's a beautiful story within."

"Yeah, thanks. But I hope now you can see why I'm so interested in your story."

"Forgive me. But no, I still do not understand why you're so interested." I laughed with confusion.

She took a deep breath sighing heavy. "When my husband died I was too afraid to stand for him. He was murdered in cold blood and the person got away with it because I was too afraid to say anything, I just cried. But you're different from me, you went up there and you fought for Birdie, the same way I should have fought for Stan, you have the power I could never have. I'm not gonna let them get away with this one too."

"Wow." Was all I could say. Finding justice for Birdie been mattered to me, but it's more than his justice, his justice would mean so much to this community because we're all tired of our young black men being swept under the rug like a bad habit. I'm fighting for a lot, and I'm not ever backing down.

"I'm sorry, let's continue along with the session." She spoke, sitting up in her seat.

"I won't give up," I assured her.

She looked up at me and smiled. "I know you won't. Let's continue."

I nodded in agreement. "I want you to continue but I still want you to live. You have to live." She said.

"What do you mean by that? Of course, I'm living. I'll be living until the day I die."

My smart remark earned a chuckle from her. "I mean moving on. That's the hardest part. Now I know this is way down the line for you, but it comes to a point in time when—."