Pride!

Your Coming Out Stories: 21

This is from

"I am not comfortable sharing my name. I am ace and gay, my pronouns are she/her, and I am 13 years old. I started questioning my sexuality a while ago, probably the end of 2017. When I was finally sure, I started telling a few close friends, starting with my best friend who came out to me, so I came out to her too. She was the only one who knew for a while, other than a few online friends, then I started to feel more comfortable and I started to tell other friends, but the real problem was my parents. They are not homophobic and I knew they would accept me, but I was still nervous, mostly with my dad, which is why it is weird that I came out to him first. We were at Thanksgiving dinner at my aunt's house and her friend said, "So, are there any boys at school that you like?" and I felt really uncomfortable. I could tell my dad was trying to stop her from pestering me about it, which I appreciated. I think he knew I was uncomfortable, but he didn't know why. I was pretty eager to leave my aunt's house after that. When we got in the car, I decided I would explain to him why I was so uncomfortable. I told him that I thought I didn't like boys at all and that was why I was acting weird at dinner. I started rambling, like I do, but then he answered. He said, "But you said at dinner you have never had a crush, so how could you know for sure?" Then he said, "Plus most boys your age are jerks anyway." I got really mad at that, partly because I told my dad the day before that my friend had come out to me and he answered with, "I'm so glad that she is so sure so young!" so of course I felt like crap. At that point I was trying not to cry. What made me finally snap was when he basically said that he was sad because he had always wanted to be a grandfather. I guess he thought this meant I didn't want kids, which was silly because I have expressed wanting kids my whole life.

That is when I started crying. I don't think he knew why I was crying, though, since I didn't really explain it to him. I was kind of heartbroken, not because he said that, but because I don't think he even realized how sad I was. I honestly think he forgot about it totally because he never talked to me about it or asked me about it again until I told him about my crush. I'm fine with it that he doesn't care, but I am not fine with it that he never realized he hurt me. Now onto my mom. I told my mom because she just outright asked me, so I told her, sort of. I told her I think I like girls, but she took it as meaning that I like girls and boys, so now she thinks I'm bi, and of course I never corrected her because I always feel weird telling people, so now my mom thinks I'm bi and I don't think my dad cares. I have to go to my aunt's house to dye Easter eggs in a couple of weeks, so that will be fun, sort of.... I am going to be incredibly uncomfortable, but hopefully her friend will not be there, so that might take some of the uncomfortableness out of it. I have no idea how to come out to the rest of my family. I guess this is a coming out story/advice thing because I need both. How do I come out to the rest of my family without it being really awkward?"

(This story is from last month, hence the Easter eggs comment)

Maybe next time you're doing something with all of your family, you can sit everyone down and let them know then. That way you can tell the family that doesn't know and clear it up with your mom. You could also tell each family member that you want to know individually. Sorry if this isn't helpful!