Devotion and Desire

Chapter Ten

*Okay. You fuck me, then snub me. You love me, you hate me. You show me a sensitive side then you turn into a total asshole. Is this a pretty accurate description of our relationship?*
-Chuck Palahniuk, Fight Club

Sal's P.O.V.

I had just dropped Callie off at home. I was now sitting on my couch, turning everything from last night over in my mind. I was shocked when she had come out and told me about her and Brian, a million thoughts and emotions ran through my head all at once, but when she started crying, I just pushed them all away and tried to make her feel better. That's all I was concerned with for the time being, I hadn't even gotten a chance to really sort out how I was feeling about everything yet.

Now that I was alone, I was attempting to sort out how I felt. I couldn't narrow it down to just one or two emotions, because truthfully, I felt a lot of things. Not one, but both of my best friends had went behind my back. I felt betrayed that they had lied to me and kept a huge secret from me for months. I was angry at both of them for breaking their promises to me that they would stay away from each other. I was disappointed that they felt they couldn't tell me. I was also hurt because of my feelings for Callie. I was beyond embarrassed for thinking that her kissing me on her birthday might have possibly meant something. I felt jealous thinking about Callie with someone else, especially my best friend. But not only that - despite how hurt and angry I was at the situation, I also realized that both of my best friends were hurting too right now - and I was sad that they were sad.

I hadn't talked to Brian yet, but I knew that if this time was anything like the last - he was going to be a complete wreck. Judging by how upset Callie had been, even though she was the one who made the decision to end things, I was guessing Brian wasn't doing too great. I was pissed at Brian, but thinking of him being depressed and alone, forced me to forget about my own anger. I decided I needed to go see him, so I grabbed my keys and phone and headed out.

Half an hour later, I was at his house, knocking, and no one was answering. I finally just got tired of waiting and let myself in. I stepped through the door, my eyes sweeping the room. There were take-out containers and pizza boxes littering the coffee table and floor. There were also beer cans, plates and napkins all over the place. I shuddered in disgust, carefully stepping in even further. I grabbed a book off his end table, instantly raising an eyebrow in confusion at the title. Don't Jump! 10 Reasons Why Suicide Isn't The Answer.

I shook my head, setting the book back down. Poor bastard. It was so dark in here, the curtains were all pulled shut and there wasn't a single light on. I caught movement out of the corner of my eye, finally finding Brian, laying on the couch, covered head to toe with a blanket. He peeled back a small corner of blanket from his face, exposing one eye to look out at me.

"Hey." I greeted him. I still hadn't worked out what I was going to say, but I figured that would come naturally.

"We have work today or something? Am I late?" He grumbled.

"No, no. I just stopped over-"

"Then what are you doing here?" He demanded, pulling the blanket back over his face.

I sighed, walking over to the chair next to his couch. "Last night Callie told me that she broke things off with you; I knew you'd be upset so I came to check on you. That's why I'm here."

"Figured that's why."

"Haven't seen you outside of work for weeks now." I said. "I'm guessing it's because you've probably been spending a lot of time with Callie."