Devotion and Desire

Chapter Fourteen

*Admit it! You like my girlfriend!

Oh, come on. I mean, am I attracted to her? Sure. Do my days feel better when I'm around her? Yeah. Does she get me in ways no woman ever has? Indubitably. Do I fantasize about her? Yes, but only in two positions. Look, am I the kind of guy who would try to steal someone else's girlfriend? Sure, of course. But do I like her? The answer's no! You have nothing to worry about.*
-Mr. Peanutbutter & Bojack, Bojack Horseman

Saturday, December 21st

Brian's P.O.V.

It was the day of Callie's Christmas work party - and Sal and I were already at the bar, where the party was being held. Callie and Elora were taking too long getting ready - so we just decided to come early, start pre-gaming - and they could meet us once they were ready.

I had been incredibly stressed out this entire month - not having a single clue what to get Callie for Christmas - so I was using tonight as a chance to just unwind. I wasn't going to do or think about anything else tonight besides my girlfriend, my best friend, and drinking.

Sal and I were seated at the bar, working on drink number two.

"Hey, you have those pictures from Miami? I still need to look through them." I said, suddenly. Everything had been so hectic after we returned home, that I had completely forgotten about them.

"Yeah, go for it." He replied, sliding his phone across the table to me.

I unlocked his phone and began searching. I scrolled quickly through the pictures, knowing they would be far back. I paused when one specific blur caught my attention. A picture that, even as a blur, I would recognize anywhere. I raised my eyebrow in confusion, studying it. 

"Are these my girlfriends tits?" I cried.

"Ah, shit. Give me that!" He demanded, grabbing for his phone.

"No way!" I exclaimed, wrenching out of his grasp. "What the fuck are you doing with this?"

"She sent it to me!"

"Yeah, because she thought she was texting me! Not to mention that was when we were in Miami - seven months ago!" I argued. "Why haven't you gotten rid of it yet. And wait... why the fuck do you even have this saved in the first place? Fuck!" I yelled. 

"Oh you don't really believe she sent this to me on accident, do you Brian?" He demanded, narrowing his eyes at me.

"Dude!" I exclaimed. "You're delusional!"

"Sure I am, Brian. Sure I am." He replied, patting me on the back.

 "Please, god - tell me you're not jerking it to a topless picture of my girlfriend." I pleaded.

"I am not... jerking it to a topless picture of your girlfriend!"

"Now please tell me that's the actual truth."

"Uh. I mean - well, I-"

I knew my motto was 'don't ask questions you don't want the answer to' for a fucking reason. "Oh that's fuckin' great!" I cried. "I'm deleting this you pervert!"

"No - don't!" He quickly cried out.

I looked at him in surprise, raising my eyebrows and giving him a 'what the fuck' gesture with my hands. I finally sighed, rolling my eyes. "Does Callie know you have that?" I demanded, continuing my scrolling.

"No... I don't imagine so. And I'd appreciate it if she didn't find out..." He replied, trailing off. 

"Yeah - okay. Whatever." I muttered. "Fuckin' sicko."