Devotion and Desire

Chapter Twenty-One

*So hey, wow, fuck you!*

-Cassie, Skins

Brian's P.O.V.

I thought I had calmed down. I really did. I mean - I thought I had fucked my rage out of me. But the more I kept thinking about him fucking my girlfriend - the more angry I became towards Sal. The more I thought about the fact that my girlfriend had cancer, and had to have an abortion because of it - the more angry I became in general. Callie had dropped three major fucking bombs on me tonight, and I was full of rage. I dropped her off at home, knowing she must have been exhausted. Of course, I didn't want to be away from her right now, but I told her I just had a quick errand to run, and that I would come over as soon as I was through. Her mind must have been spinning as fast as mine was, for her not to ask what was so pressing, this late at night.

I had wanted to just go and talk to Sal at his house - having a mature, one on one conversation - and work everything out. But when I had gotten a text from Joe, inviting me to the bar with them tonight, I knew I was going. I had to. I had to take care of this now. It needed to be over with. None of us could start moving on until it was. And even though I knew the guys would be there too - I just couldn't help myself. I went anyways, even knowing that I probably should have waited. I should have waited until he was alone, and until I had calmed down again. But I didn't.

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I stormed into the bar, my eyes gazing over the giant crowd of people, eventually settling on my three best friends. I took a deep breath and mentally willed myself to calm down before approaching their table.

"Hey bud," Joe greeted me, as I walked up.

I nodded to him briefly and focused my attention on Sal. As soon as I saw him - my rage flared up again. "Hey," I said. I pulled up a seat and propped my elbows up on the table - glaring at him. "You have something to say to me?" I demanded.

"Uh, hi?" He asked, looking up at me in confusion.

"Try again." I urged with a giant fake smile plastered on my face.

"I'm really not sure, what you're talking about?"

"Nothin'?!" I asked, propping my chin on top of my hands and raising my eyebrows. He shrugged his shoulders, casting his eyes down at the table and shook his head. "Really, bud?" I pressed. "You sure?"

"Brian." He said, quietly.

"Sal." I replied, smiling. My anger had reached a dangerous point.

"Kinda... sounds like you already know," he said softly.

Ah - there it was. He wasn't as clueless as he was pretending. "Yeah - but I wanna hear you say it." I replied, smiling even larger, and leaning forward.

"Brian," he said again, shaking his head again. "Can we go outside and talk?"

"What?" I asked loudly. "And make everyone miss all the fun?" I continued, playfully. I knew I was being cruel, I just couldn't even control myself at this point.

"Please." He pressed, softly. "Don't make a scene."

"Who's making a scene?" I asked. Sal looked at me - begging me with his eyes to just stop. And I wished I could have. I lost all my patience, and was tired of dancing around the issue with guessing games. "Just fucking say it!" I yelled, slamming my fists on the table. He jumped, startled at the noise. Murr and Joe were staring at us with furrowed eyebrows, in morbid fascination. Too frightened to say anything, but too intrigued to look away. "What's the matter, buddy?" I spat. "You were man enough to fuck my girlfriend but you're not man enough to admit it?"