For Ever

twenty-one

"Hello?" I answered the phone hesitantly due to the fact that my sister hadn't talked to me in coming up on two years.
"Annabeth, it's dad." Rosalie sounded over the phone.
"What about him?" I asked, still cautious.
"He's had a heart attack and they don't think he's going to make it. I thought you'd want to come see him." She sounded small.
This man willingly abandoned me at my most vulnerable state. He let me raise a baby without him even knowing her.
"He'd want to see Everly one last time." She spoke.
"You mean meet Everly properly." I shot back.
"You know it wasn't him. Mom controlled him. He's really sick, Beth. You need to be here." She said flatly.
"I'll be there soon." I said softly.
I hung up the call and laid my phone in my lap.
"I'm sorry, I have to go home." I said emotionless.
"Is everything okay?" She asked worried.
I shook my head in response.
No matter how awful he was to me in these past few years, he's still my dad. He's still the one who taught me how to swim, ride a bike, defend myself, do my own hair, change a diaper.
To him, I owe this one thing.
To myself, I owe a proper goodbye.
Olivia pulled up to my apartment and without saying goodbye, I climbed out of the car. She drove off without a fight and I saw Anna's car back in it's spot.
I went in and collected Everly. I borrowed Anna's car and went to the hospital.
He was so weak he couldn't talk, he cried and held my hand.
He held Everly's small hand and cried harder.
I didn't want Everly to see him die, so I allowed a nurse to take her to the nursery. I didn't want her with my siblings' families.
We watched him as he took his last breath. Watched as his body stopped being.
He held my hand until his hand fell limp.
I was a mess. Tears streaming. My nose running.
They came and disconnected his machines, took all the wires and IVs out of him, then let us stay a while.
Mom was distant. She took the foot of the bed.
My brother had joined without saying anything. Rosalie and James were on the opposite side of the bed.
As soon as they told us it was time, I exited the room without looking back at the members of my childhood family.
I spotted the nursery, saw Everly playing with other children, then ducked into a bathroom to clean myself up before getting her.
Once I picked Everly up, I held her hand back down the hall.
"You look really good, Annabeth." Rosalie appeared.
She looked good. She looked polished and pampered. Her current state was pitiful compared to how she could be. Her cheeks were red and splotched.
"And she— wow, Beth. You must be so proud. She's stunning." She smiled looking to Everly.
"She is." I nodded.
"I've missed you." She said softly.
I shook my head and smiled.
I knew this would make her attempt to reconnect.
"Beth, our dad just died. We have to stick together, because it'll be mom soon enough." Rosalie tried to guilt me.
"That's not my mom. She's your mom. She kicked me out. She doesn't love me. I only came today, because I love dad no matter what he's done in the past. He's my dad. He loved me. She does not." I argued quietly with her.
"She does." Rosalie countered.
"No she doesn't, Rose. The love I feel for my daughter is— it's unimaginable to even think that I would be able to kick her out of my home, out of my life, out of my family." I didn't let her get to me.
"I do love you, Annabeth." I heard my mom's voice appear.
I shook my head laughing, then turned to walk out.
I scooped Everly up so I could walk faster. I didn't look back to them.
"I'm sorry, baby." I told her.
"It okay, mommy." She said softly.
I buckled her into her car seat and climbed into the driver's seat.
I drove home and immediately retreated into the bedroom.
I stripped my jeans, then slipped into the covers.
My mind raced with thoughts of my dad. My childhood and growing up with him.
I sobbed. No end in sight.
"Hey baby." I heard my second favorite sound. Olivia's voice.
I didn't move. Everything was wet from tears, my nose running like no other, my eyes puffy.
I felt her crawl in behind me and snuggled right up to me. Her entire body pressed against mine.
This made me cry harder.
He never got to meet Olivia, never will. He'll never know how much we love her and how much she loves us.
She pressed her lips to the back of my head and found my hand with her one hanging over my side.
We stayed like this until I fell asleep. It felt easy to sleep during this time when I was being held by Olivia. She made me feel safe and comfortable enough to let go.
I woke up to the sun shining into the window, but no Olivia. I turned over and saw the empty sheets on the other side where Everly was.
I sat up quickly, then heard my favorite giggle. Everly is here, is Olivia?
I carefully slid out of bed, tripping over the tangled blankets. I opened the door to see them cuddled on the couch.
I smiled to myself, then went back to the room to grab my phone. I needed to capture this for me to be able to look back on.
My phone sounded as I snapped the picture, then Olivia's head snapped around.
I smiled softly at her.
She nodded her head for me to join them.
I quietly padded over and sat on the cushion next to her, but they way she was cuddling Everly made her back face me and her bottom rest on my leg.
I laid an arm over her hips and leaned my head on her shoulder.
I closed my eyes to savor this moment.
Everly grabbed my hand.
I kissed Olivia's shoulder and laid my head back down.
"Okay, cuddle fest over. We have plans today Henrys." Anna announced.
"Wha—" I began to ask, before I remembered.
Wedding dress shopping.
Chance has proposed to Anna when he graduated last semester, but they had set their date to be after Anna graduated. They set it for May 24th.
"My beautiful little flower girl." Anna smiled and held her hands out to Everly.
Everly jumped up and into Anna's arms.
"Flower gir— you're getting married?" Olivia spoke softly.
"In May." Anna smiled at her, situating Everly on her hip.
"Congratulations." Olivia nodded.
"You can come along." I laid my hand over hers.
"Oh— I don't want to impose." She denied sweetly.
"You're trying on dresses today too. There's two other girls coming with already." Anna said.
"Yes, but she can still come." I scrunched my eyebrows at her.
"Via can come." Everly nodded.
"I just— I wanted a day with my girls." Anna sounded defeated.
"I don't have to come. You can always show me the dresses later on. I know whatever you find will be beautiful." Olivia smiled at me and ran her fingers across my back.
I wanted to roll my eyes, because I want her to be able to come to things like this. Instead, I have to choose between the two single most important women.
I shook my head and stood to walk out.
"Mommy?" Everly called after me.
I closed the door behind me.
I started my shower, then heard my door open and shut.
"Just leave it alone, Anna. She's not coming, alright?" I called out before Olivia made herself visible.
I opened my mouth, then shut it again.
"She uh— she's pretty upset." She spoke quietly.
"Yeah, well." I shrugged.
"I don't have to go, my love. You can come over as soon as you and Ev finish up." She smiled.
"It's not that. It's that you're important to me and she knows that. Okay? It's not like I'm asking her to have you stand in the wedding. I just wanted you to come dress shopping, because it's both mine and Ev's first time and I remembered when you said that you feel like you missed a lot." I sighed.
"You're so sweet. You know that?" She came close to me.
I watched her.
"Thank you for thinking about me, but you should focus on her today. It's for her big day." Her eyes smiled as she spoke.
I nodded.
I leaned forward to hug her.
She didn't come to the dress shop with us and not a second went by that I didn't wish she had. I wanted to try on the long dresses and parade around with Everly, Anna, and the other girls with Olivia right there. Anna picked out the most beautiful little white dress for Everly.
I retreated into my room. I hate that I wasn't fully there for this special time in Anna's life, but I couldn't help but want Olivia there.
"Hey, baby. How are you doing?" Olivia's voice appeared.
I turned to her and broke.
I'm scared to face my mother again. I'm sad that my dad wasn't able to know me now and know Everly. He would've loved her.
"Your dad?" She whispered.
I sobbed into her shoulder.
Me wanting Olivia at the bridal store wasn't about wanting to involve her, it was so I would feel at ease. She makes things better.
I needed her there for my emotional well-being.
"I'm so sorry, love." She pet my hair on my head.
I couldn't speak. Deep, choppy breaths and sounds of crying were the only sounds coming from me.