From London to Rome

Chapter 7

It has been a day since I saw Luca, but I am still feeling the same excitement as I felt yesterday. I don't know if I should text him. I don't want to be too pushy, but I also don't want to seem indifferent. I really enjoyed the time we spent together, but my insecurities manage to take over once again. Yesterday I was able to ignore all of my insecurities and just have a good time, today all my insecurities are back, and they seem worse than ever before. Somehow, my trust issues don't seem to come up this time. Usually, when I meet new people, my trust issues are the first problem I run into. With Luca it's different.

My intuition tells me I can trust him, but at the same time I'm afraid to commit to anything, even if it's just a friendship. When we were in the garden yesterday, he was the guy I ran into in the coffee shop and in the bookstore, but whenever I open my Instagram I am reminded that he is so much more. Fans go wherever he goes. When he goes to an event, he needs security around him. He has over seven million followers. All of them admiring him. It's overwhelming, even just thinking about that number of people wanting to know about your life. I don't know how to feel about it. I'm actually quite surprised no one recognised him yesterday. It must be terrible to always have to watch your back. He told me a little bit about it yesterday and it appears that he deals with it perfectly fine and is used to it by now. I don't think I could ever get used to it. But I guess you don't have much choice when it becomes your daily reality.

My mind has been wandering all over the place once again but I still don't know what the best way of action towards Luca is. I decide to wait a little longer with texting him. Maybe I can come up with something to say in the meantime. I should get some studying done anyway. Tomorrow I have to work all evening so I won't have time to get anything done then. I managed to get some more hours at work which is nice but it also means I need to plan the rest of my days more efficiently. At least some more money will be coming in soon, giving me a bit more breathing room when it comes to my bank balance. I don't want to let my parents pay for more than they already do. My parents make a decent living, but living in London is quite something else than living in South West England. And they still have my sister who will also start college in a year and a half. We agreed to them paying most of my tuition, and me paying for everything else. I never had to pay for anything when I lived with them, so I managed to build a decent savings account from everything I earned with my summer jobs. That gives me somewhat of an advantage now.

I get so caught up in the assignment I am working on, that I don't even notice that it's almost midnight already. I managed to stay away from my phone all evening, and strangely I was also able to ban all thoughts of Luca out of my head while working. I'm tired and I really need to get some sleep if I want to make it to my morning lecture tomorrow. I hate morning lectures, especially when they're on Monday morning. I take a quick shower before getting into bed. My muscles relax as soon as I touch the mattress. My bed really is my favourite place to be.

Just when I had drifted off I am awoken by my phone starting to buzz like crazy. Shit. I forgot to put it on sleep mode. Who in heaven's name is sending me texts this late at night? It's safe to say that I am more than surprised to see they are from Luca. Why would he be texting me this late? When I open the texts, I only get more confused. They make no sense. He is talking about a park I told him about yesterday. Another text says something about wanting to see me. There are six texts in total and none of them makes any sense. He must be drunk or something. I doubt whether I should answer him. I read the texts again and only now I realise how desperate they sound. He must be really drunk.

When I ask him if he's drunk, he only replies with maybe and a winking smiley. God. I can't leave him wandering around like this. I ask where he is and he sends me his location. Thank god for modern phones and navigation apps. He indeed is in the park he mentioned in the first text. I told him about it yesterday, about how I loved living so close to a park. Before I can change my mind, I put on my shoes and start walking towards the park. Why do I always find myself in these odd situations?

"I missed you today." That's the first thing he says to me when he sees me walking towards him in the park. "Remember when you told me about this place? I asked everyone where you were but they just looked at me like I was crazy."

"No kidding," my sarcasm is noticeable even for Luca, right away I can see that he is not just a little drunk. "have you looked at yourself. You're walking around in a park at midnight, you're obliviously drunk and you're asking strangers about some girl. How would you react to someone like that?" I doubt Luca even hears what I say. I have no idea where to take him. I guess it will be a sleepless night then. On the way back to my flat I try to figure out how he got to the park. All I can understand is that he was at a party. It's clear that he drank way too much, but why is still a mystery to me. I didn't expect him to be the type of guy to get this drunk and wander off into the streets.

It's a challenge to get Luca to my room without waking up any of the students living on my floor. He doesn't really understand the concept of being silent right now and his steps sound through the entire hallway. I don't want to cause a scene, especially with Luca by my side. I let him sit on the bed while I get him a glass of water. I doubt he'll remember much of this in the morning, but he will definitely have a huge headache once he wakes up. I give finding out what happened one more shot, this time with a more successful outcome. He talks about the party he went to with his friends and how he feels like crap about going away. It doesn't make sense, but I let him talk. Hopefully, I will be able to puzzle some pieces together later on. He keeps on talking about leaving after something that great. When I ask him what he will be leaving behind, he just looks at me without blinking. I assume he is bummed about leaving his friends and family because for whatever reason he needs to travel.

After some time, he falls asleep and I just give up. Maybe I will find out more in the morning. I have a lecture at 8.30 but I doubt he will be awake by then. He will probably still be asleep when I come back.