SHY ..Stalker Kook👼 Taekook|| Vkook (completed)

Part- 43 Troubled

{*self-harm* in this part

Don't read if you are not comfortable.}

KIM TAEHYUNG POV

It's been three days since Jungkook left. It feels so alone without him, i am imagining crazy things. Is he alright, what if he's in danger. I have tried my best to find him,  but i still don't know where he is. And now i am going out of my mind.

I have trust in him, in the time we are together, in our relationship,  in our love, I fucking trust him so much. I am trying to keep myself sane, because i know my kookie Won't Leave me, Never. I know there must be something that doesn't reach me, i don't know the reason behind it. I believe in him,  in his words. He said he'll be with me forever.
I'll wait for him,  like he did he always waited for me,  our love is strong, we are strong.
I cannot guarantee you sunshine kook, but i can promise to stand beside you, no matter how hard it rains.
No matter how hard the circumstances, I'll wait for you this is what i am thinking of for three days.

But.. But i don't know what's happening with me today,  i am strong, i am waiting for him,  but this feeling, this feeling,  a slight fear.... what if he'll never come back to me, what if everything we had was just a sweet dream,  a sweet time we spent,  ju-just a sweet memory,  w-what if the words he said,  what if the 'i love yous' we shared are all of no meaning, what if my kookie , my kookie left me in real,  i-i would die, i can't imagine anything without him.
These thoughts are shaking me. I am really trying my hardest not to give up, not to give up on him,  on us, not to give up on waiting, i know he'll return, he'll return to me. His smiling face, it's it's not going out of my mind. I miss him so much. I want to be in his arms, i want him to shower me with kisses  i want him to cuddle me, i want him here with me.

"How i live without you kookie , how can he live without me hmm?,  you must return my koo,  please come back to me, please i can't hold it,  i can't anymore kookie,  it's been three days but it feels like a very long time , i-i want to see you now"
I can't help my tears, i am not even bothered to wipe em away,  i am tired of wiping them,  they don't know how to stop. I am strong, my heart is strong, but my body and my mind is giving up on me.

I fell off my bed i have no energy, no energy to even search for him, no energy to even stand straight on my feet.

I want to feel pain, a different pain,  i think the physical pain will take away my my heartache.

I pick the glass from the table and threw it straight on the wall,  it broke in pieces.

The bed supported me and i stood up.
I kneeled in front of the broken pieces and pick up the sharpest one.
I am sure this pain will help me,  without any thoughts i held the glass piece tightly in my hand, it pierced through my palm, the blood started gushing out.
But what surprised me is that i am still not feeling any pain. My heart is hurting still his bunny smile, his sweet kisses,  his hugs,  the way he cared for me, our cute little dates,  his possessive side, i miss him so bad.
I really want to feel pain.
I took another piece and clutched on it tightly, it slit my hand and fingers.
When i am satisfied i opened my hand and some of the pieces fell while some remained indent, the blood keeps flowing.

I felt sleepy, see i knew the physical pain will help me ease my heartache, though i didn't feel any pain because the thought of being without my Jungkook is more painful... still i am slowly drifting off to sleep, so for a little time maybe i won't feel any heartache.

I hear my phone, i crawled to the bed and without looking at the caller ID i pick it.

"y-Yeobeoseyo"