Beyond the Darkness

59. The Astronomy Tower

Sasha couldn't wait to get downstairs. She wanted to see how Severus was holding up. The sight of Malfoy lying there bleeding and Harry standing over him had shaken him to his core. She could tell by the look on his face. She just hoped that he was dealing with it, or at least trying to. She opened his office door slowly without knocking. He was inside like he always was, but he wasn't sitting at his desk. He was pacing back and forth.

"You're going to wear a hole in the floor, Severus," Sasha teased him.

He looked up at her and smiled briefly, then continued to pace. Something was clearly bothering him.

"Severus, are you okay?"

Severus stopped pacing and whirled around to face her. "No. I am not okay. I feel so guilty."

Sasha could see it for herself then. His eyes were watery and red. He had no doubt been crying. "Guilty about what?"
"That spell!" he exclaimed. "That was mine! I don't understand how Harry even knew about it. Had we not got there in time, he could have killed us both."

"He's very sorry, Severus. And he and Ginny went to destroy your old book."

He frowned in confusion. "My old book? What old book?"

Sasha shrugged. "Potions I think."

Severus slapped his forehead. "Of course! I left it in the cabinet in the classroom. I left it there for consultation in case I ever forgot something. No wonder he's been having good marks in Potions all year. He's been using my instructions. I rewrote nearly all of them to make the drafts a bit stronger."

"You're the Half-Blood Prince then. I was right."

His face flushed. "Where did you hear that name?" It was an old name, an old nickname he had used back when he attended Hogwarts himself.

"It was written in Harry's book."

"Does he know the spell is mine?"

"No. I didn't tell him."

Severus sighed in relief. "Good. Don't tell him. He doesn't need to know that is my spell. I don't want him to think of me any differently than he does right now."

"I don't think he could think anybody lower than himself right now," Sasha disclosed. "Harry is beating himself up pretty badly for what he did. He knows that he could have killed you. He felt so terrible."

"I feel terrible for ever creating such a thing."

Sasha walked over closer to him. "Any luck with Draco?"

Severus rolled his eyes. "No. He still insists on doing it himself. You know sometimes I'd like to strangle him? All he has to do is just let me help him and it would be easy."

She put her arms around his waist. She could hear his heart beating loudly in his chest when she laid her head down on him. "You have to calm down."

"I am calm compared to what I was before you came down." His tone was sharp, but he didn't mean it to be. He told her so a few seconds later.

"It's okay. You're upset."

Sasha leaned up and kissed him lightly on the lips. He kissed her back and then laid his head on top of hers.

"I'll be okay, Sasha. Just continue to hold me."

She grinned. That request she had no problem filling.

~ * ~

June 1997

The closer it got to the end of the term, the more on edge everyone seemed to be. Sasha was nervous about Severus and his fate more than anything else and so was he. He knew he would have to leave soon and then things would change forever.