Such a Softer Sin [COMPLETE]

Such a Softer Sin Chapter 31

So, I don't really know what to say about this one. It's a lot of internal monologue, mainly Murphy but some of Lilas and Connors too. Again Murphy just comes easier to me, he's more open and unguarded so it makes sense you find out more about his bond with Connor through his eyes.

If the driving test stuff seems off, I'm from the UK and have no idea how different it is for people over there, so just roll with it.

I never plan my chapters, some just follow from the last one, others just happen. And this just fucking happened. But it's important and full of brotherly fluff. It's also leading up to something, probably not what you think too. But it's the calm before the very thunderous storm. Enjoy the fluff whilst it lasts, because shits about to get real very fucking soon in a few chapters.

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Connor sat at the dining table, huffing and cursing to himself. He was surrounded by books, all spread across the table as he scribbled in a notebook. He was due to take his theory driving test in two hours, he'd already passed the actual driving portion of it. But for some reason, this part made him anxious. It was one thing actually doing the driving and showing he knew how, but this felt like a fucking exam and he hated it. So he was cramming, he'd borrowed every possible book from the library that could lend to his aid, and he was studying intently.

Lila and Murphy were sat on the couch snuggled up together with her legs over his. The pair kept glancing to the grumbling twin sat at the table, but whenever one would ask if he was okay or tell him he should take a break, they'd get a scowl, Murphy would get a few colorful words thrown in too but he didn't swear at Lila. They gave up in the end, just settling for watching some crappy tv and cuddling. Murphy was amused at his brother, he hadn't seen him like this since school. The pair had been rambunctious boys of course and they caused mayhem wherever they went, but at the same time, they enjoyed learning and always applied themselves. Connor more so. Murphy was still sometimes a little shit, even in class learning something he was interested in. He just couldn't help himself, sassing the teachers and making people laugh, he was the sillier twin after all. He could feel his twins nervous energy radiating off him strongly, and he knew Lila was feeling it too, although not as intense as he was. She kept shifting in her seat and he smirked to himself. She wasn't used to this yet, the connection, feeling things that weren't your own. He knew she was having difficulty with separating it from her own emotions, and right now, Connors anxiety set her on edge as if she herself was anxious.

Murphy had his whole life to deal with that, yet even he struggled to compartmentalise what was his and what was his brothers. He wasn't sure how Connor managed to do it, but he did. But he could also stuff his own feelings down whereas Murphy couldn't even do that. He was just more sensitive, more emotional, he had been that way since a young child. And as much as he would deny it until the day he died if anyone asked, he had a feeling deep inside that Connor was in fact the oldest of the two. The harder hearted twin who was always level headed, who was always there for Murphy when he needed him, picking him up time and time again. Even as children Connor was the one who looked out for him, whether it was teaching him to ride a bike because he couldn't seem to grasp it, or cleaning his scraped knees afterwards, apologising profusely after he had fallen off yet again. Their large differences in personality made them complete once together though, like two halves to make a whole, and that's why they worked so well together.

Of course, Murphy still had Connors back, he always would. He raised hell in his teens if anyone so much as looked at his brother the wrong way. But he'd never really been in a position where he had to take care of his brother, not in the way Connor had to take care of him every time he had a mental breakdown. Even if they got sick, Connor just got on with it, almost like he wasn't sick at all. And Murphy couldn't fathom how he did it, because when he was sick, he was miserable, even more emotional and very fucking whiny. Yet his twin never complained when he was sick, he would care for Murphy, looking after him without making him feel like a burden, even if Connor himself was sick at the same time. He took on the big brother roll from such a young age, almost acting as stand-in father since their own was absent. Murphy could never thank his twin enough for everything he had done for him, he didn't know what he could have possibly done to be graced with Connor as his counterpart, his better half, he didn't know where he would be without his brother.