Such a Softer Sin [COMPLETE]

Such a Softer Sin Chapter 36

Murphy gets to come home and the boys try to help Lila come back to them.

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It had been two weeks since Murphy woke up, two fucking weeks, and it was hard on all of them. Because Murphy was now awake, the doctor only allowed one of them to sleep there with him. Visitors weren't allowed to sleep there full stop, but when the doctor told them both to go home for the first time, Murphy almost set the fucking place on fire with them all in it, wanting to burn the place to the ground. So as a compromise, one of them could stay overnight, the other would have to go home and come back during visiting hours.

Murphy had felt incredibly guilty, because no matter how much he loved his girl, it was obvious who he was going to pick. Connor wouldn't leave Murphy's side for a second, not after all that had happened, and Murphy needed to be close to him after Connor had let him see and feel everything that had happened when he was out of it. He was worried he had upset her, being put in a situation where he had to pick his brother over her, he felt like he had betrayed her somehow. She got it though, she wasn't stupid enough to think he was going to pick her, as soon as the doctor said it, she knew it would have been Connor and if Murphy had not been able to make up his mind, she would have told him to pick Connor anyway.

She knew they needed each other, they were both very vulnerable and she wouldn't ever dream of splitting them up. It hurt her, of course it did, having to go home every night alone, to an empty apartment and an empty bed, but she dealt with it. The first few nights were the worst and she hadn't been able to sleep. And when she had returned to the hospital to see Murphy in the mornings, she had looked rough, making it clear she hadn't slept and had been crying. It only made the boy's guilt increase about the whole thing. Being unable to be there for her when she needed them most, for her to be suffering through this alone when they had each other. Connor had asked Rocco to stay with her around the third day, and of course he said yes. Rocco was so happy Murphy was okay, and he too was still reeling from all that had happened, to witness Murphy literally die right in front of them.

The girl was troubled, the boys could see it, fucking feel it, and even Rocco could tell she was trying to deal with shit and failing. She barely spoke now, only if she was spoken to, but most times she would answer with a nod or shake of her head. When Rocco went home with her, he would try and make her laugh, being his usual self, but she would only give him a weak smile, not laugh like she usually would. Her best friend was worried about her. She didn't really feel like Lila anymore, and even the boys had noticed. When she was at the hospital, Connor would watch her carefully, he would see how she avoided eye contact, and keep touching either one of them to a minimum. She had blocked them both every time she was there, successfully too since she had gotten better with her abilities with all she had done with Connor. Murphy hated that she blocked him, but he daren't bring it up, since it just reminded him of the horrible words he had said to her before the accident. That could have been the last time he had ever spoken to her and he had accused her of trying to cause a fight between him and his brother, he was still feeling guilty as hell about it. 'Ye got what ye want girl, aye?! Got us fightin', is this what ye fuckin' wanted?!'

When the four of them were sat in the hospital room, Rocco would tell funny stories trying to make her laugh, Connor would even join in or Murphy, but they never succeeded. Connor had been able to successfully put his own feelings in a box, as always. Locking that box labeled 'Murphy's death' up tight and never to be fucking opened lest it eat him alive. Murphy was here and he was okay, there was no need to even go there in his mind, he'd rather just forget about it. But he was worried about Lila, seeing her so vacant, not being able to feel her. The whole thing had done a number on her, and unlike himself, she wasn't able to just ignore what had happened, to stuff her shit in a box and get on with life like normal. The only way she was coping was to just shut down completely, and he was scared she'd never fucking come back.