Becoming His

Chapter 29 - Broken Birdie

~

"He's dead." Christian's eyes darted to Alesha's sullen face as she unexpectedly broke from the lighthearted conversation that had gradually filled the room of their friends and family. "Isn't he?"

The quiet was overwhelming as everyone's gaze tightened on her tired eyes. She had been awake now for 7 hours but Christian had already instructed everyone, even Dr Müeller, to avoid that topic until he had a chance to explain everything. The doctor had warned him of how exhausted and out of sorts she would be for the first few hours, so it only made sense to Chris to stray from the news of their son until he was sure she could handle it.

Everyone couldn't stop talking about how grateful they were that she was okay and had finally woken up, but she could see something different in each person. The way Grams kept herself in a chair to one corner of the room with saddened red eyes. The fact that every time they locked sight, Dani would leave the room on the verge of tears with Raf chasing after her. Even Gramps, who had hugged her for so long, dropped a few tears on her shoulder before breaking away. But the biggest giveaway, Christian.

The same man who, for the last 5 months hadn't shut up about how cool of a dad he would be and the adventures he'd already planned with his "mini-me", didn't say a word. Not even asking the doctor how the baby was. He sat in the leather hospital chair on her right, hand cemented in her palm the whole time not saying a thing.

"Let's give these two the room." Vincenzo stood to his feet reaching out for Winnie's hand before leading everyone else out of the tense hospital room.

"Who did it?" She asked, turning her attention to the natural light shining through the floor to ceiling window. Christian couldn't answer, still taken aback by her abrupt approach, he tried stringing together the right words to put her at ease without lies, but he couldn't. His silence was enough for her. "Who was it?" She asked again, her tone emotionless.

"Julian Howard."

"Is he dead?"

"Not yet."

"I need him to be."

Christian gazed at her skeptically, she didn't sound the same. Her soft spoken demeanour was gone. Her questions came out stony and detached, almost militant. She wasn't herself, but he'd be damned if he didn't give her the justice she deserved.

"Done."

~

That was a week ago. After killing Julian Howard, Christian had hoped Alesha would feel some relief as she eased back into her old self, but he was wrong. There was no more smiling and she'd barely spoken to anyone except Winnie since that day. With everything that's happened, he hadn't even seen her shed a tear yet. Her time bounced between looking out to the city from her room and whispered chats with Winnie when no one else was around.

His grandmother refused to tell him what the topics of conversation were and instead explained how losing a child can change a mother and that it will take a while for her to feel like herself again. He understood, but it didn't stop him from feeling like he'd already lost Alesha too. He'd convinced himself that, while the people around them would never say it, they blamed him; and every second spent around her, he was in his own head wondering if she blamed him too.