i am not a replacement

Chap5 (back to those days)

"I miss those days, we were young back then, acted by instinct, never thought of any of the consequences"

"I get the impression that you still don't Edwin"

"Did you really have to ruin the moment?"

"There was none, to begin with"

I was with Edwin in the building's lobby where the employees here met their visitors. We took a table in the corner to discuss the contract of the permanent position in the show, instead, we did everything but talk about it.

"How are your parents?"

"Good"

"Joshua and little Aiden?"

"Not so little anymore" I smiled when I thought about them; their new images popping up in my brain, but also my smile was meant to relieve some of my weirdness right now.

As much as meeting him again feels like a dream come true, as much as it's shaking me up someway I never knew... 

"Right! I need to meet them so I can get that into my head. I still remember the eighteen and fifteen-year-old... I think that was the last time I saw them right? "

"A year before we separated and I was twenty when that happened.. So.. You do the math" I spoke, fidgeting with my teacup and trying to calm my heart and mind, reminding them that this is what they wanted for years.

"I'm sure I'm right"

"Joshua is picking me up, so you can meet him"

"You don't have a car?"

"He's picking me up with MY car"

"Why would you give him your car and sit here waiting for him? Are you hurt?! Can't drive?!"

"I actually gave him an excuse, not a car" I glanced to my left and noticed Madeline at the far end having a coffee with the producer "He's interested in someone here" I turned back to look at Edwin and saw the way his frown turned into a smirk

"I guess little Joshua is not so little anymore" 

"Yup"

Enough about me and my family, there are things I need to know and facts I need to establish "By the way, I still need an explanation about the photos you told your father about"

He lifted his cup to his lips and  sipped on his coffee all the while looking at me, and here I was waiting for him to talk because no way he was going to avoid this conversation!

Realizing that, he put his cup down, and it was his turn now to fidget around in his seat "I-i took pictures of you while you painted. You know, I liked taking pictures of the club members while they worked or while we talked, just something natural and spontaneous" he answered my question before he lets a heavy breath out and turn to scan my face for any anger or discomfort.

"Why would you show them to your father? Do you still want to pursue your dream of being a photographer? Are you like... Still trying to convince him or something?"

"No, I am pursuing my dream of becoming... Your... Husband"

I shouldn't have asked! I knew I shouldn't have asked the moment the question left my lips! I tried to cover it with another one about his dream job but-... I don't know who I was helping, me, or him.. More importantly, I don't know if I should be flattered, happy, excited, or just awkward like I am now...

"As if! But seriously why w-"

"I AM serious... If not then why haven't I gotten married still?"

"Because.. You're an idiot"

"Really?" He cocked a brow at me as his lips formed a smirk; waiting for my response.

"You still use flowers to speak, Edwin! No one knows the meaning anymore, no one cares!"

"You do"

"Because I need to know these kinds of things"

"Why the need? to talk to me?"

"No, some patients have these cases of using meanings instead of words and expressions. Just like kids, they make up their own language and some use th- ..." I stopped blabbering and took a close look at him, his hands laying on the table between us, his eyes fixed on me and his head leaning a bit to the side.... Admiration... He's not joking... And he's not even trying to hide it... "Sorry, I bored you"

"You didn't bore me at all. It's actually nice seeing you all excited whilst talk about something, the same way you used to before"

"I... I need to leave now. Joshua's probably running late, he has an event to deal with so... I guess. see ya!" I snatched my bag from the table in a hurry before I got up, turning to leave as fast as my feet enables me..

I know that I was throwing myself into something that mister Julian has cooked, but somehow, I still don't feel quite confident about any of it... The only thing I am confident about is that I want Edwin back into my life. But in what way?.. That! I do not know...

"Amanda!" I turned and faced him again when he called my name "You forgot these" he handed me the lilies "It was an honor to meet you, your majesty"

Lilies meant 'honor and majesty'... also, another meaning is the purity of heart, which made me think of him.

This man sure had a pure heart, an unchanging pure heart, his looks might have changed but his heart is the same nine years ago. No! Fourteen years ago, since the day I first met him.

"Thank you"

"Since I got your number, know that I will call you tonight, especially that we have unfinished work to deal with"

"Yeah, sure"

I left the building in a hurry and was about to call for a taxi, when my phone buzzed in my hand, I looked at the message and a smile was drawn automatically on my face.
I turned around looking through the glass doors back to Edwin, smiling brightly, waving his hand....

"A month separated us and a month brought us back"

...That was what the message said...

It was like life was taking me back to the twenty years old me, just like my dad had said.

I had a month to myself at that time after Angela was imprisoned and now after nine years, I had another month after the divorce. But somehow the nine years between these two months vanished in a blink of an eye.

My past is now my present, and this was the best present that life has ever given to me.

"It was nice... Meeting you again"