i am not a replacement

chap12-2(confused)

"was she really angry?"

"you think I'm being overdramatic here? yes, she was angry!"

"she has the right to though, she is still not used to so much attention from the media and you just threw her out for the public"

"I asked you to help Madeline, not to rub it more in my face"

"well I am helping you not to do that again in the future" she answered in a duh before the sipped on her freshly brewed coffee, I can smell it from across the table, that thing was strong...

"gee thanks, I appreciate it"

she smiled after she placed her cup down but that wasn't for long since her eyebrows furrowed with confusion in no time

"What?" I asked terrified of what was coming, we were in a coffee shop two blocks away from her apartment and the thought that someone might spot us and spread rumors about the two of us managed to put on me on guard the whole time

"Why did you do it though? I mean...there must be a reason for you to just... I don't know"

Strange enough, her question managed to shatter something in me... felt like I was put right on the spot "I heard she met her ex-husband's son"

"and so?"

"what do you mean and so? I was...it made me....i.." I couldn't find the words, I couldn't manage to truly put my finger on why I truly did it, I told myself the son was the trigger but, I had planned on doing it long ago...the moment I went into that studio and made a scene myself 

I made a scene for Madeline... I helped her knowing that I didn't have to and it was none of my business. I could've just inform the human resources department and they would fix some sessions or something and talk to her...help her get it all out and deal with the rest bu-

WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE?!!

"Edwin?" she called my name "are you okay? you're getting paler and your breath intakes are getting quite harsher and faster, want me to take you to the hospital?"

"no"

"I can drive just give me your keys, you lo-"

"Just shut up for a second "

"wh-"

"shh" I lifted my hand signaling her to stop, but her face still had worry printed on it, she wasn't even offended of the way I just shushed her..

I started this because I needed help to court Amanda...right?

but what am I doing here two blocks away from her apartment, right after work, not even bothering to change...and why the heck would I change?!!!... ACTUALLY! why would I be here in the first place? we don't need to do this face to face, I could just text her when I need...

why am I HERE? 

why are YOU here edw-

"Edwin?" she called my name again, her concern was getting stronger and she wasn't even holding it back, she showed it so clearly on her face 

"I need-i need to go" I fumbled on my words and on my steps trying my utmost best to leave this place and go to the comfort of home, away from her!

"hold on! Edwin!" she followed right behind me her heels hitting the ground with every step she took closer and just before I opened the door of my car she managed to catch up and block my way to it "I'll drive.. you are not okay"

"I'm fine!"

"you look like you're about have some sort of seizure, you're sweating and shaking Edwin!"

"I DON'T CARE! JUST STAY AWAY FROM ME!" I pushed her away and opened the door but she flung it shut the way it was "MADELINE!"

"WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?! I-! ..I'm trying to help Edwin okay? so calm down, let's just calm down" her hand extended and reached for my upper arm, cautiously laying on it

"YOU are what's wrong" I said before I can even fathom this whole turn of events 

"wha-"

"YOU ARE WHAT'S WRONG!" I pulled away from her shaking my head to her horrified expression "you're confusing me...I LOVE HER! I LOVE AMANDA!"

"I KNOW YOU DO!"

"then why am I here with you?" I asked her hoping she would have an answer that would put my anxious body to rest

"Because you asked for my advice"

"and isn't it strange that I did"

"What is strange about asking her friend for advice about her, i-"

"The fact that I keep meeting her friend, the fact that I'm getting to know her friend instead of spending time with her and getting to know her!"

"maybe you just want to have a friend at work" even she seemed hesitant with her assumption like she didn't believe it enough to see it as truth

"she is the one for me, I waited years and loved her for years, Madeline, NOTHING should change that and NO ONE should change that!"

This can't be what Amanda meant...