i am not a replacement

Chap12( ? )

"I'm sorry about the article, I was truly confused and I acted childish for apparently no reason, I .. I'm sorry "

"I'm sorry for losing my temper "

Silence...

Silence has filled the scene after, we were sitting at my now usual spot in the station, the same table at the same corner showing the same view of the same streets outside ..the only difference being the people coming and going...

"Do you miss him? "

I looked up from the tea I was stirring for a while now, to Edwin who has managed to speak and break the quiet that engulfed us "who?" I asked

"your ex-husband's child "

"Louis, his name is Louis and he is my child .. I raised him...yeah, I do miss him" I gave him a small and tight smile not really knowing what to say now, but his expressions, on the other hand, were kind of sore "what's wrong Ed?"

"nothing" he forced a smile then looked away diverting his attention somewhere else

"Ed?" I called his name hoping I would get his attention back on me "what is it? "

"noth-"

"I will never inquire about it again if you don't tell me now "

he sighs before he chose to let it out "it feels like you're getting further away...again"

"What makes you think that way? "

" the more I see you, the more different you are than before, you are a totally different person now, Amanda "

"does that make you uncomfortable?"

"Yeah, it's funny but, it feels like I'm cheating on you...the old you " he gave a faint smile then diverted his attention to his cup

"What did you expect Edwin? years have passed and we changed, our lives changed... I am a divorced woman, and a mother, a woman with career and responsibilities towards her family .. I'm not the old carefree teenager you've known"

"I know that " he sighs looking back at me "I know but it's just a weird feeling I get .."

"I'm fine with whatever you do Edwin" I interrupted him

"what?"

"if you want some time, or you don't want to meet me again .. I'm fine with it "

He cocked an eyebrow at me "you're fine with it?" there was slight anger evident in his tone

"calm down for a second and don't misunderstand .. I meant if you found out that this is not what your heart wants, and ..you know, maybe you fell for a woman with my old traits and personality ..and here I am making you feel uncomfortable and confused, along with some pressure from your father ...you just ..you don't need to do any of this, Edwin... you can end this anytime ..no one is holding you back "

"end what?! we didn't even start!"

"do you truly want to start? am I good enough to be someone of meaning to you?"

"what are you talking about? yes you are, are you kidding me? I've waited for years, Amanda!!"

"and? so?! waiting for something doesn't mean that it's the right choice to take Edwin! "

"what if it's not the right choice? SO WHAT?!... we still need to give it a chance"

I was watching tv in the living room when Aiden came in and sat beside me "did you quarrel with Edwin? "