"she said you didn't like it when I called her mommy"
the conversation was long but slowly so many things started to unfold; misunderstandings, misjudgments, and misinterpretations of past actions...slowly I was able to wrap my head around a few things and few thoughts and beliefs she has built in her for the past years
"I didn't"
"why? did it remind you of mama?"
"I didn't hate it"
"then?"
"I won't deny that I was a bit uncomfortable because I didn't know what to say or how to react to it but I didn't hate it. On the contrary, I was happy that you had someone to open up to, I was happy that the two of you are close, happy that it all worked out for you"
"then... is it okay if I call her mom?"
"of course it is! she was the one to raise you this whole time, I'm not going to just ignore that fact, I never did and I'm not going to now"
But what made her think that way?... she said she stayed for Louis and she left for him... and now she says that I hated it when he called her 'mom'...
what if she misread things this whole time?
what if I'm not the only one who was lost all along?
what if she was too?
After all, ivy was her friend, she felt the loss too... Yet, I never witnessed her tears... I never witnessed her break... it somehow made me forget that she was human too, that's how she managed to take me off guard that day, her tears, her tone, the shaking and fear... i-
"dad!" Louis called me, waking me from my daze
"yeah.. yeah..what?"
"Should I tell her then?"
"Tell her what?"
"that you never minded and that she misunderstood"
"NO! don't.."
"but maybe that way she will come back...don't you want her back?"
"I do!... I do want her back!"
"then why not ?"
"real men don't sneak from back doors, they go through the front door confidently even if they might be conquered with defeat"
...
"Dad, I'm just a nine years old kid"
"It means I will not use you, I will clear things up on my own"
"so...you will go to GRANDPA'S?!"
"I will... but not before I grasp this whole situation and ask for his permission to fix it"
YOU ARE READING
i am not a replacement
Non-FictionAmanda decided to sacrifice everything and get married just for the sake of the future of her deceased friend's baby. Thinking that everything she has ever done was the right choice, she starts to break down when the outcome is something she never t...
