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ETHAN

"E..." Grayson hums lowly. I maneuvered my head so I can kiss him on the forehead. A small smile comes over his face when my lips meet his skin. Grayson rests his head on my chest and his eyes close, his lashes fluttering as I breath out. Grayson falls asleep in under a minute, and I take that time to look at him closely. Grayson is someone that I've never met in my life. He's amazing in every single way and it's like he's the perfect boy. I'm so happy that I've found him and could be in a relationship. I do regret calling him a "pet" and trusting Grady with my feelings. I should've known he'd find Grayson and say something. I just wasn't thinking straight.

My eyes take a journey over his body, and it's like every curve or blemish is a new adventure. I still have no idea who Grayson is. I know his name, his age, a food he likes, a favorite movie. But other than that, we are strangers in this world. I want to know Grayson. I want find out why he loves one of the saddest movies on this planet. I want to know why he enjoys laying under the stars and crying. I want to know if he likes me as much as I like him. Saying this in my head makes me realize that Grayson might be a crazy person, but this time I'll let it slide. Or maybe not a crazy person, but someone who can just breath air and wake up the next day with a somewhat smile on their face.

My right hand moves from the position on his hip to threading itself through Grayson's locks of brown hair. It's dried from the time Grayson got out of the shower to now and the hair is softer as ever. Although a little sweaty at the scalp from our very active "workout". Just thinking about it makes me go crazy and as Grayson sleeps on my chest, I pop a boner. Wonderful. Just what I needed as my...boyfriend sleeps? Is that even the correct terminology for the relationship we're in? Grayson and I were clear on keeping it simple and if we wanted to move forward we could. We weren't going to throw ourselves into a committed relationship when we had just basically met. 

It was what most couples did. It was hard to watch a girl throw herself at a boy and then call him her boyfriend one moment and then he's breaking her heart the next. In today's day age, you're almost never able to express your true self because someone is right behind you to bring you down. It's happened to me way more than I can count on my fingers and it's hard to find someone who can love you for fucking you. People lie all the fucking time and one guy could tell you they loved you for you, and then they're spreading that you aren't as big as you said you are. It's useless crap you don't want to hear but it's everyone's worse nightmare when it's directed at you.

The more I think of sad and angry shit the more I calm down the raging hard on. But once Grayson shifts in my lap, his bare ass coming in contact with my dick, my best friend comes to life again. Grayson's eyelids slide open at the hard feeling near his rear and I can already see the glint in his eye. "Your hard." It's not a question. It's a statement. It's as he doesn't expect anything else. "Mhm," I reply. Grayson sits up, now upright like he once was an hour or so ago. "And I'm sure you want to be released." I nod, watching as Grayson moves the covers down past my thighs. My cock now on display for everyone to see. Well...just Grayson and I. 

I feel like a child. I feel exposed. Humiliated to have a hard cock when I'm not supposed to. Grayson and I should be cuddling and talking about our feelings, not having sex again. Although I did go easy on Grayson, I'm not in the mood. It's times like these I curse myself for being a man. I'm always going to have a dick and it's always going to get hard in the moments I want to cherish. How fucking lovely. However, Grayson looks like someone gave him a few shots of espresso and he's living off caffeine. "You don't have to do this, you know. I could go take care of this in the bathroom and then we could cuddle back up and go to sleep. I'm sure it's passed dinner and-" "Will you shut up?" Grayson whispers when he grabs my chin. Now I feel like a two year old.

Grayson gives me an asserted look, looking deep into my brown eyes for a "yes" to whatever he has planned. I'm ready to get what he's planning in that beautiful head of his, but my heart is banging against my chest, ready to sprint a 4K. I'm already out of breath at the sight of the beautiful man I can somewhat call mine. It's crazy that I'm already saying this stuff about someone I truly just met. But whatever happens between here and the future, I pray to the gay ass gods that Grayson and I will be together to the end. I'm ready to wrap my arm around his waist and go frolic through a field of sunflowers. 

Such a gay thing to do. But if it's with Grayson-I'm happy. But that's rare. I'm never confident. I'm always scared, doing 360s to see where everyone is. It's always been like that since I was little. Maybe my father gave me some of his PTSD from the war. God only knows. Growing up with someone so scared and mad all the time, locked in a box of their own emotions- it was a roller coaster. I can thank my mother for most of the help, but the only one I can thank is my Aunt. My father's sister, Diane. She was everything to me. She helped me get through everything as a kid. And I mean everything

Cancer- ovarian to be exact- took her away from me but I will always thank her for everything. I try to pull myself out of the thoughts, but once the first tear hits the top of my cheek bone, I'm a goner. I'm crying, naked, and in front of someone I care for very much. I can't take it. I really can't. I start sobbing. Worse than Wes and when Grayson finally realizes I'm not really into this "we're so turned on by each other that we must fuck every hour"mood he pulls me up and brings me into a hug. I rest my head on his shoulder, the tears cascading down his skin, reflecting the light. But I know I'm okay. I know I'm safe. I know he cares. 

And I definitely know that I'm in love with Grayson. 

****

author's note:

well, this took hours to write. i was lost, no set direction. busied myself by watching LGBTQ+ tiktoks and here i am- finished with this chapter.

as you can see, it's been a few days since the last upload, and i did warn you that it would be a little touch and go for the next one, and i'm sad to say that it might be the same again for this week. it's actually sunday here because its 1:55am (I have to go to work at 7pm but i'm sleeping all day) and the only days off from work i have are Monday and Wednesday.

but, hopefully i'll find time to get an upload on those days! maybe even both if i'm not lazy.

i love you all very much. you have no idea💜

word count:1,181

𝐂𝐚𝐦𝐩 𝐅𝐮𝐜𝐤 𝐁𝐨𝐲 ★ 𝐆𝐫𝐞𝐭𝐡𝐚𝐧Where stories live. Discover now