Stark And The Spider

Cuddles and Bloody Knuckles

"You're safe with me."

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It's not the first anxiety attack I've had.

I've gotten many of them before, but as I'd grown up, I was able to deal with them better and they came much less frequently. I had mostly gotten it under control.

Mostly.

I hadn't had a panic attack in a long time, until today. Until Dave Williams weaseled his way back into my life.

My breathing starts to return to normal as I focus on Peter's heartbeat. He continues to rub circles on my back in a pattern. Something familiar. Something constant. Something that helps me calm down.

I lean away from him so I can look him in the eyes. He stares at me, his brown eyes so gentle and comforting. His lips form a gentle smile. "It's okay. You're okay, (Y/n). Everything is going to be okay. You're safe with me. I promise."

That's all he says. 'You're safe with me.' He doesn't ask me why I'm so upset, he doesn't tell me that I'm overreacting. He doesn't ask me what's wrong. He knows I'm not ready to tell him. He understands. With four simple words, he manages to comfort me more than anyone else could.

I open my mouth to speak. The words on the tip of my tongue. I'm Tony Stark's daughter. I could tell him. I could tell him right now. 

But I don't.

I close my mouth hesitantly. I would never--could never--forgive myself if anything happened to him because of me.

Knowledge isn't just power. It's a weapon. And a weapon can be used against the person who wields it if they aren't careful enough.

I can't put him in danger just because I'm selfish.

I understand why some superheroes keep their identity a secret now. To protect their loved ones. Because sometimes knowing who someone is can be dangerous.

I wonder if that's why Spider-Man does it. I wonder if he has someone to protect too.

I wonder if my dad ever regrets telling the world that he's Iron Man. I wonder if he ever just wishes that he kept it a secret. It might have caused a lot less problems.

But would he be able to do it? Would he be able to keep it a secret? It would get revealed eventually, right? At least the secret couldn't be used against him, like Dave is using my secret against me.

Maybe secrets aren't always the best thing to have.

I open my mouth once again to tell him. I'm so close. I should just blurt it out now and get it over with.

No.

I close my mouth again.

He smiles at me sympathetically, understanding. "It's okay, (Y/n)."

I nod. "I'm sorry." I look up at him apologetically, then away, realizing how much he's giving up just by being here with me. "I'm so sorry, Peter. I'm sorry I'm making such a big deal, I'm sorry I made you miss class, I'm sorry, you're probably going to get in trouble for skipping and it's all my fault--"

Peter puts a finger to my lips, stopping my apologetic rant. "(Y/n), look at me." I look up at his serious brown eyes. "You never, never, have to apologize for something like that. Not to me. Not now, not ever, okay?" He pulls me back into a hug and kisses the top of my head. "It's not your fault."