22 Short Stories from Gravity Falls

Story 10: Stan's Kitchen

Summary: Dipper and Mabel try to teach Grunkle Stan how to cook better in an attempt to avoid eating out for the rest of the summer. But things get a a bit, "heated."

It was afternoon in Gravity Falls. Dipper and Mabel walked into the kitchen and sat down at the table. Stan walked in soon after.

"Alright kids, it's almost dinner," he said "So, what'll it be?"

He handed the kids multiple coupons and pamphlets. They both moaned.

"Really Grunkle Stan, again with the takeout?" said Mabel.

"Oh, come on Mabel. You love it when we go to Pizza Duplex," said Stan.

"We went there only two days ago! Even their pizza can get tiring after the fifth trip!"

"Okay fine," said Stan, "No Pizza. How about some steaks over at Giant Grill?"

"We only just went there on Sunday!" said Dipper.

"So?"

"Grunkle Stan! It's Tuesday!"

Stan sighed, "Okay fine! How about Tacos from-"

"No!" screamed both twins.

"Yeah. After last time, I'm not in the mood for that either," said Stan, "But then, I can't leave you both starving. Apparently, you can go to jail for doing that to kids."

"Grunkle Stan, don't you think we may be tired of all this fast food?" said Dipper.

"Really?" said Stan, "Of all people, you? I thought kids would be the ones who always want to eat out? Is it opposites day or something?"

"It's not that Grunkle Stan," said Mabel, "Whenever mom and dad take us out to eat, we're both excited. But unlike you, they do it on occasions. Not like with you taking us out every night."

"Mabel's got a point Grunkle Stan," said Dipper, "Why not try cooking dinner yourself for once?"

Stan shudders, "Oh, well, uh...you kids sure you don't want to eat over at Greasy's? I bet lazy Susan will give us a discount if we hurry."

The twins were not buying it.

"Come on Grunkle Stan, come clean," said Dipper, "Why do you keep taking us out for dinner every night?"

"I...I...I..."

"I what? Can't cook?" yelled Dipper.

"Yes," said Stan with a sigh, "I can't cook dinners!"

The twins gasped.

"I can cook you kids breakfast. My Stancakes always are a hit with you guys, right?" he asked.

"Eh," says Mabel, "I usually just give mine to Waddles. That and your Stan toast as well."

"You see?!" yelled Stan, "I can't even cook you kids a good breakfast! Better to just let you eat out every night rather than let you starve. Speaking of that, if your parents start asking why you're both looking a bit chubbier then when you left...just say that the salads I made were high in carbs!"

"Grunkle Stan, you should have told us that," said Mabel, "Don't worry, me and Dipper are going to help you learn how to cook!"

"We are?" said Dipper.

Mabel gave him a little punch.

"Oh yes. Yes, we are," he replied.

Stan smiled a bit. He really wanted to make sure Dipper and Mabel are well taken care of while they were in his hands, and if learning to cook was one way he could do that, then he was willing to give it a try.