22 Short Stories from Gravity Falls

Story 15: Overdue Fine

Summary: Ford goes to the library to return an overdue book and gets fascinated by modern technology.

It was a cool early September morning. Stan sat on the couch drinking a soda while watching TV. At that moment, Ford walked in.

"Hey Stanley," he said, "you mind if I borrow your car?"

"You mind telling me at least why," he replied.

"Well, I found this old library book in my study. Turns out I borrowed a while back and meant to return it back in August."

"You might wanna relax sixer, I mean, it's only been a month."

"Stanley, it's been sitting there for over thirty years."

Stan spit his drink out, "Why the heck would you keep it out for over thirty years?!"

"Oh, I don't know," said Ford, "Maybe because I wasn't in this dimension for thirty years!"

"Oh, right, all that portal junk. Ever since the kids left and you saying we were gonna go sailing in a few days, I've kind of forgotten about all that stuff."

"Well, lucky for me, I spotted this while packing. Now I can return it to the library and given their maximum five dollar fine, I think I should be okay. Well, see you soon."

"Uh, Ford...about that!"

But before Stan could stop him, Ford was already outside. He ran outside but it was too late, he was already driving to the library. Stan ran back inside and made a phone call.

"Hello, Soos, get over here right now!"

"Right here Mr. Pines!"

A shocked Stan turned around to see Soos standing right there.

"Oh, yeah," he said, "I forgot, you live here now."

"So, what's wrong," Soos asked.

"I'll explain on the way!"

The two of them raced off into town after Ford. Meanwhile, he was already at the library.

As Ford walked in, he was stunned at how modern the place was. The first thing that caught his eyes were the computers in the research section.

"Uh, excuse me," he said to one of the librarians, "Do you know where all the microfilm projectors went?"

"The what?" said the lady.

"The Microfilm projectors. There used to be tons of them when I was last here. They cataloged everything like where the books were."

"I'm sorry sir, I don't know what era you're thinking of, but we use computers to catalog everything now."

Ford looked over at the computers again and laughed, "How on Earth did computers get so tiny? They used to be huge. How much memory do they have? A megabyte?"

"Uh, sir," the confused librarian said, "Those computers there can hold a terabyte."

Ford felt like he was about to have a heart attack, "A terabyte?!"

"Yes. Again, I don't know when was the last time you came here, but things have changed a lot. Now, is there anything else I help you with?"

"Well, I was looking for the return desk. I have a book I need to return."

"The return desk is over there," said the librarian, pointing to a large desk near the exit, "And yes, it's automated too. All the books are cataloged digitally now."

Ford rolled his eyes, "Thanks." He walked over to the librarian at the desk.

"Hello, I'd like to return this book," he said.

The librarian looked at the book.

"Sir, are you sure you borrowed this book from us?" she said, "There's no barcode on it."

"Yes, I did," said Ford, opening it to the cover, "I borrowed it...a while ago."

"Hmmm, you must have gotten it from the older books aisle. Let me check our old records for a second."

The librarian was gone for a very long time. But she eventually came back.

"Sir, this book was checked out over thirty years ago."

Ford chuckled a bit, "Yeah, I've been, uh...out of the country. I'll gladly pay the fine though. The maximum fine is still five dollars, right?"

"Uh, sir, we actually did away with that practice many years ago."

"What?" said Ford.

"You actually owe us, two thousand, one hundred and thirty-six dollars."

"What!"

"And twenty-five cents."

Soos and Stan pulled up in front of the library and raced out. Before they got to the entrance, Ford walked right out.

"Ford!" yelled Stan, "The library! They...they no longer have five-dollar fines."

"Yes Stanley," said Ford, "I know."

"Please tell me you didn't pay it."

"No. Lucky for me this was my first overdue book on record. And given the book's outdated, they discarded it for me free of charge. So, no, you haven't lost over two thousand dollars."

Stan sighed in relief, "Oh thank goodness. With the amount of damages that triangle caused me this summer, I couldn't take another expense over a grand."

"So, Mr. Ford dude," said Soos, "What did you think of the library?"

"Well, it's changed a lot since I last came here," said Ford, "Did you know computers can hold a terabyte of storage now?"

Soos laughed, "Everyone knows that dude."

"I don't," said Stan, "What the heck even is a terabyte?"

"And why are computers so small now?" added Ford.

Soos gave both Stan and Ford a pat on the back, "We have much to discuss on the ride back home."

And so, Soos geeked out about how much technology in the last 30 years had changed to Stan and Ford.

Ford took notes all the way home while Stan fell asleep right after Soos said the word floppy disc.

Luckily, he wasn't driving.

art by fexiled