The Queen of the Prey

Chapter 25

"Tell the king, the next time he sends someone after me, I will personally deliver their heads. And I will not rest until I burn his entire kingdom to the ground and make him watch." I hiss, "After you utter those words, the poison will stop."

And you will die. Ulrica finishes for me. I smile, getting up and wiping my hands on my shirt.

I give a little wave before disappearing into the forest.

Satisfied.

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Satisfied.

Until I hear it.

Out of the complete silence, the cry rose. Out of complete reverence, the sounds of life stilled to listen. The cry started slow and came out in gentle sobs until it grew and rose to wails that tore at my heart.

Bram's tattered cry felt like it would follow me to the end of the world. If I were to travel over lands and seas, through forests and valleys...would it follow me? Would it haunt my dreams?

Probably.

This cry that held his broken heart the one that mourned not for himself and the pain he must be going through but for his mate that died right before his eyes.

The mate that I killed. That thought alone made me fall to my knees.

I felt the weight of sorrow press me into the dirt. And not for the first time I wished with all my might that I could just be swallowed up into the cold ground. To stop my existence - to stop the pain and death that seemed to follow me everywhere I go.

My mind clouded with pain, and my heart grew cold with pent up emotions. I wanted to join in Bram's cry. To howl with him and grieve with him.

I lift my head to the sky, and as the first sound begin to escape my throat, I shut my lips with an audible snap. My tongue narrowly escaping my teeth.

"No," I whisper. I caused this pain. I took away Bram's mate for a reason. I didn't deserve to mourn with Bram.

I lower my head, ashamed of my selfishness.

All I wanted was to be left alone, to find a place where I could feel safe.

I just want to feel safe for once in my life.

I don't want to feel this guilt. This guilt that feels like gasoline in my gut.

I clutch my hands to my chest, wanting to soothe some tiny piece of my pain.

I want to feel anything but this hollow ache in my chest. Shutting my eyes, I bring up the wall between the living and the dead. I imagine the wall, as durable as any metal this world has but soft to the touch like black silk. The image is evident in my mind, and I walk towards it. Before I touch the wall, a line of stairs appears before me leading up, and without any hesitation, I climb it.

This is where I belong, in between life and death, where I can see and feel everything alive and everything from the past. I push my mind further, trying to reach closer to the souls that are still on this earth — trying to get in touch with anything alive. The world held so much life that it was easy to get lost in the spirit of the trees and the grass. To dance along with the rhythm of a scared rabbit, to feel the courage of a bear or mountain lion. And I wanted that.

To feel the life around me and not the death that I have caused.

My heart skips a beat when I feel someone close by. This soul wasn't an animal. I have spent my whole life getting lost in the constant hum of an animal.