Before Take Off

20. always be there?

"You're the brightest thing that has ever entered my life; you're my dazzling sun, my twinkling stars, my blurry city lights... Please don't take my light away."

*

"Why did you invite me to come with you?" I asked the first question that popped into my mind abruptly.

After flashing me a smug smile, Lewis stretched his fingers threateningly. "Alright birdie, let's see whether you are capable of winning against me." I chuckled after his overly competitive statement as he was taking this little rock paper scissors game a little too much seriously.

After extending our hands out above the table, we narrowed our eyes at each other. I could feel my heart increasing its speed as I stared directly into his dazzling eyes but I wanted to believe that it was due to the tension of the game.

Lewis nodded for us to start off and after muttering 'rock, paper, scissors', my fingers curled up inside of my palm, my hand morphing into a fist, which stood for rock, as he stuck out two fingers to form scissors.

I grinned triumphantly as Lewis rolled his eyes, muttering "Beginners luck," under his breath. I didn't brake off my content expression as I nodded for him to answer my question, honestly.

"It has always been really hard for me to visit Amsterdam," He began right after drawing in a sharp breath and placing his elbows on the table to prop up his head with his palms. He dropped his gaze down, his long eyelashes almost sweeping across his face. He looked so adorable and upset that I was starting to regret my query. "I don't know," He started off talking again as our eyes finally met. "I guess I was seeking someone who didn't know me properly, who I could chat carelessly and wouldn't have to worry about being judged. And uh, you were easy to talk to. I mean you were willing to answer all my cringe-worthy questions." He laughed uneasily, running his hand through his curls and messing them up.

I couldn't help myself but reached out across the table to hold his hand, brushing my thumb gently along his wrist. "Remember me pointing out that I liked you, up on the rooftop on my first evening in London?" I asked softly and Lewis nodded expectantly, his eyes lightening up with an unreadable emotion. "Well, I still do."

He kept his piercing eyes boring into mine for a couple more seconds and then winked cockily. "Yup, I know it."

I briskly drew my hand away and shot him an annoyed look. "You have to be so cheeky all the time, right?" I mocked as he nodded readily.

As it was his turn to ask, he darted his eyes around the cozy pizza shop, trying to figure out a question before finally deciding on something. "Well, since you've asked me how many people I've slept with, I want to ask you the same, if it's not inappropriate of course."

I bit down on my bottom lip, grinning sarcastically as I lifted my eyebrows and gave him a look. "Don't you think that we're far beyond that line yet?" I asked before sticking my hand out for another round of rock paper scissors. This time however, I wasn't as lucky as I was in the first round.

"Well?" He asked, his lips curling up into a teasing smile. "Spill."

I gulped down hesitantly, fiddling with the hem of my shirt. Having sex had been a huge issue for me until now. I had spent my hours and days on planning my first time with the right person because I wanted it to be special every single time that I had sex with someone. I wanted to care so much for that person, who would see my most vulnerable moments, as I waited for him, my heart wide open because apparently, until the heart-shattering incident went down, having sex meant a lot to me. "Well-" I started off but my sentence got cut off right at the beginning with the shrill and overly excited voice of the vibrantly smiling waiter, who was holding two large plates in his hand.