Getting to Nirvana {editing}

Chapter 3

In Buddhism, a Sotāpanna or "stream-winner"is a person who has eradicated the first three fetters of the mind, namely self-view (or identity), skeptical doubt (in Buddhadharma or the teachings of the Buddha), and clinging to rites and rituals.

Chapter 3

Nirvana

A distance sound of a car zooming by makes me pull myself together. I pick myself up off the ground and dust the dirt from my jeans and wipe the tears from my eyes.

I have to get home.

I follow the direction that Zack's car went with trembling trepidation recalling the last time I was this lost.

It was in Walmart when I was seven.

It was around Christmas time. I stopped for one second to watch a display of dancing penguins and when I turned around my mother was gone. I remember my little heart beating erratically in my chest and my breath becoming short from anxiety. Then I started walking down different aisles but the more I searched it seemed, the more lost I got.

At that time Walmart seemed like a vast unending emporium. So in my naive mind I thought I was lost forever, doomed to roam the aisles of frozen food and lumpy fruit for the rest of my days. Eventually though my mother found me bawling my eyes out in the frozen food section.

But what's different from last time is that my mother's not here to rescue me.

I stick to the side of the road concealed by some bush hopefully hiding my presence from unwanted strangers in passing cars. If I can help it I definitely don't want to end up like those girls you hear on the news.

I walk silently and precociously taking in my surroundings and the sounds around me.

Faintly I hear the sound of music. The Rock and roll heavy metal type. Maybe a record store or a party? I hasten my steps a little and soon come across a little bar not too far from me. It's a bit shabby with peeling paint and blinking lights. Simply named Bart's Bar.

Judging from the yelling and shouting from inside I can hear as I get closer I can definitely conclude that this isn't the place a seventeen year old girl should be in on a Friday night.

I look around but there's no place else as far as I can see but thick woods and shrubs, the empty road, and the highway up above me.

Who knows how far I'll have to walk to get to another place? And it's already getting dark. I don't want to be roaming out here alone at night. That thought alone makes me shudder.

God I hate Zack.

You can do this. I pep talk myself. Just walk in, talk to someone, and use their phone so you can call yourself an Uber or something.

There's a couple of scruffy looking guys outside. I try to avoid eye contact but they look my way as I near the door.

"Hey pretty lady wanna buy me a drink?" One of them shout. He's an old dirty man who sounds like he's been smoking since he was like ten.

Clearly this was supposed to be a joke because the rest of the guys laugh like its the funniest thing they've heard all day.

I roll my eyes and ball my fist to calm my nerves, resisting the urge to grab my ear, something I do when I'm nervous, but my heart still starts beating faster.

Dear Higher being in the sky. Please don't let me die tonight... Please."

I nod my head in reassurance, take a deep breath and push the door open.