Getting to Nirvana {editing}

Chapter 4

A monk who is a friend to admirable people - who's reverential, respectful, doing what his friends advise -mindful, alert, attains step by step the ending of all fetters.

Chapter 4

Nirvana

Monday morning I wake up with a sinking feeling in my stomach that I can only attribute to last night. Zack's threats keep on replaying in my head over and over again.

He was just trying to scare you. The rational part of my brain consoles me. But the other part...

I try not to think up the worst case scenarios in my head.

To get my mind off of it I go downstairs and pour myself a bowl of cereal.

"Good morning!" Zephyr's cheery voice rings through the house.

She sprints down the stairs in her pink nike shoes and yoga pants, her flattened hair in a neat ponytail.

"Hey Nirvana!" She greets me and pours herself a bowl of cereal. "Guess what?" She gushes her face splitting into a grin.

"What?" I mutter slurping up my milk.

"I got nominated for Homecoming Queen!"

Surprise. Surprise.

"That's great honey!" My mom remarks from the kitchen.

While they gush about Homecoming and other school crap I don't care about I make my way to the bus stop.

Getting on the bus I feel everyone's eyes on me.

That's new.

Usually everyone ignores me.

Does this have something to do with Zack's pay back?

No. Nirvana. The rational part of my mind consoles me again. Stop being paranoid.

My throat gets dry and I tug on my ear so hard I feel like I'm about to rip it off. I instantly avert my eyes from the probing stares and glares and slink into the first seats.

****

As I make my way to my locker head down and books to my chest I can feel the intense stares of my surrounding peers. I can hear the whispers.

"Yeah it's her!"

"That's what they said."

"I don't know if it's true but..."

My face heats up. I'm not used to attention. When did I ask for this?

I guess the moment I stepped into Zack Sanders car.

"Nirvana!" I turn my head slowly but sigh in relief when I realize it's just Zephyr.

"Hey what's up." I lick my lips nervously looking over my shoulder.

"Zack is going around saying..." Her voice trails off. She sounds unsure of herself.

"What? "

She looks away nervously.

Even though I don't really want to know I'm still anxious to know why the judgmental stares and the smirks, why the stifled laugher and the tension in the air.

I grab her arm. "What's he saying about me?"

She sighs. "He's saying you did it with him and three of his friends last night in his car for money and then when you didn't think they paid you enough you freaked out and broke his car window."