heartbreaker | goodguyfitz

🌹n i n e t e e n🌹

       a couple months had passed since i had moved to melbourne, and within that time span the boys and i had become closer than ever before. by now everything was properly settled in. my furniture had arrived - and in one piece, thankfully - and my apartment was decorated to my liking. as an added bonus, with cameron staying just down the hall, it was easy to put things away, especially since i was a bit, how would you say, "vertically troubled" (aka short).

however, there were a few downsides. it dawned on me that moving here in a reckless decision for happiness actually costs a lot of money, and i'm not exactly the kind of person who can afford to go to concerts every week like half the people on twitter. and so, with much persuasion from cam, ryan, sam, and the rest of the misfits, i decided that i would start a youtube channel - and yes, this was a reckless decision as well.

in doing so, i was able to pull together everything i needed to start a channel. cameron helped me decorate a little corner for a background for my channel, and i added a few finishing touches with fairy lights, vinyls, and posters. in addition, ryan was able to hook me up with an editing software to help with the videos. finally, there was the camera, and luckily i was in a photography club in university, so i kept a decent camera to help pull everything together.

and then came the recording. the recording was the hardest part. after knowing the boys for a while i realized that youtube wasn't exactly just "film a video, upload, and get the money ". hell no, it was so much more than that.

and i loved it.

it was hours of effort being put on camera, then double the amount of time and effort in editing. but i wasn't gonna lie, it was fun. of course it took a bit of self-discipline to actually get the work done, but after a while things started going a little smoother. about two gatorade bottles later and a fuck ton of cheez-its later, the video was done and was finally uploaded to my new channel, which thankfully, cameron had shamelessly plugged in one of the previous podcasts.

       the news about us dating had spread relatively quickly and most people caught on by themselves. but we decided to make a forma announcement, nonetheless. but surprisingly the fans took it well and that was good to hear. of course there were stray hate comments but jokes on them no one can hate me more than i hate myself.

         as soon as the video uploaded i darted straight to cameron's apartment, eager to tell him that i was done. i knocked on his door excitedly and he opened it a few moments later. he smiled as he saw me.

       "i take it your video is done?" he grinned.

       i nodded and giggled excitedly, "yep! all edited and uploaded."

       "and how was it?" cameron asked, a hint of curiosity in his voice.

         i chuckled, "i loved it. i mean that. i can see why you enjoy it so much."

          cameron's eyes lit up as i said that, "that's wonderful, love. so you wanna continue doing it? like, full time?" he inquired.

        "definitely. though it'll take some getting used to, i can do it." i chirped.

         cameron softened lightly, "i'm proud of you. not everyone adjusts this easily. i'm glad you enjoy doing it."

—

       it was a few months since the channel had been started and videos were flowing through nicely. i had a schedule planned out for weekly videos and ideas and overall, i was getting into the work phase. but within all of that, i noticed that i had a lot less time on my hands. the job was time consuming, but i was actually terrible at time management so things often got....hectic.

       cameron caught onto this, and decided that it was time for some time off. just to relax. and, coincidentally enough, it was cameron and i's one year anniversary. which honestly surprised me more than it did him.

       i was shocked to find out that exactly a year ago, cameron and i found ourselves on the beach and ultimately decided that we should take our relationship to something more. and i've enjoyed every second of it.

        because of the event, cameron decided to treat the both of us to a little date night. i offered for the both of us to stay in and watch netflix until we passed out, and kick cam's ass in seven games of uno - the pinnacle of a date night if you ask me - but cameron insisted because of a little surprise he had for me.

        all he told me was "dress nicely but not too nicely." thankfully a lovely visit to instagram helped greatly. i finally settled on fishnets and a thigh-length skirt with a black crop top, and pulled it together with some black boot high tops.

         after some light make-up and a few instagram worthy photos later (few meaning two) there was a light knock on my door. i looked through the peephole, just to be sure, and opened it to reveal cameron, who was looking like a goddamn snack.

       he was going to say a greeting, but was immediately cut off. his eyes glimmered lightly as he was gently held agape at my doorstep.

       "fuck," i heard him curse under his breath, "you look....holy shit."

        i flushed gently and smiled, "i could say the same with you."

         we decided to keep our thoughts to ourselves as we headed out into melbourne to start off the night. cameron drove us to the cinema, for a movie, where we unintentionally ended up commentating about dumb shit the characters were doing, and nearly got kicked out because the other viewers told us to, and i quote, "shut the fuck up before i throw the spider under my chair at you."

        this was followed by a walk to downtown before it was finally time for our dinner reservations. the restaurant was nice, maybe a little too nice for my choice of blouse, but overall it was good. after getting stared at oddly by an old woman i was beginning to feel slightly uncomfortable.

          i quietly excused myself as i tried to find my way to the restroom, bumping into another customer on the way there and spilling his drink on himself. i apologized quickly for the accident and offered to reimburse him. but i didn't realize who it was. upon coming to a realization my apology faltered and i felt every ounce of pain and sadness and anger that i had managed to keep down in the depths of my memory suddenly come spilling back up again.

          it was charlie. the boy who did me wrong all those years ago was here, in front of me. and by the look of his face he was going to enjoy watching me crumble beneath his gaze.

—
ooOOoOOOoo spicy