Infinity Times Infinity (Book One)

Chapter 8

Mikaela's POV

I cried all the way to the airport.

On the plane, I cried all the way to Nashville.

Holly was picking me up. I had put on a pair of dark sunglasses, so she couldn't see my eyes. I wasn't ready to talk about it, about Ryan.

I didn't think it would hit me this hard. I lied to him. I didn't have anything going on. I was scared. I was afraid of the growing feelings that I was having for him.

I had gotten a glimpse of the NASCAR world, and that scared me the most.

I had witnessed other drivers getting into accidents and my heart did go out to the wives and girlfriends knowing they must have been terrified. Thankfully, no one was injured. However, seeing Ryan crash, I understood what they must have felt and knew they were a hell of a lot stronger than I was because I couldn't handle it.

Holly was very chatty on the way back to our townhouse. For that, I was grateful. Let her do all of the talking.

We were almost home when she finally asked "How was it with Ryan? I haven't heard from you in over two weeks."

I could feel hot tears burning behind my eyes again. "Fine. It was time to come home though."

We arrived home, and I immediately went out to the backyard with Libby.

Holly came out behind me. "What's wrong Kaeli?" She asked, concerned.

"Nothing. Everything is fine. I'm just tired." I lied.

"Take off the sunglasses" she ordered.

I sighed and took off my sunglasses and looked at her. "Is this what you want to see?" I asked.

"Well, no. Not really, but at least you don't have a black eye. That's what I was afraid you were hiding."

I gave a small laugh. "No. Just two black eyes, I'm sure. Stupid mascara."

"Come on" she put her arm around me and led me back into the house. "Talk to me." She sat down on the couch and patted the cushion next to her. I sat down.

"What happened with Ryan? Did you have a fight or did something else happen?"

I took a deep breath. I was unable to keep the tears from falling again. "Ryan is perfect Holly, well, almost perfect. Sweet, funny, sexy. I like him. A lot."

Holly looked confused. "He's perfect. Almost. You like him. A lot. So why are you here? Crying. After you two left the bar that night, I barely heard from you. A few texts here and there 'with Ryan' 'hanging out with Ryan' 'at Ryan's house'. I figured the sex must have been pretty damn good that you were still with him."

I felt my cheeks get hot. "The sex, oh my God, it was incredible. Intense. Out of this world. Best I've ever had."

"So what am I missing here? He's gorgeous, sweet, funny. The sex is incredible, hot, out of this world. So why are you here and why are you crying? Is it the 'almost' you felt the need to add after perfect. Is it that 'almost' that has you so upset?"

"He drives a race car for a living." I said. "I cannot be involved with someone who has a dangerous profession. I can't do that again. I won't go through that ever again, always wondering if he's gonna come back at the end."

She put her arm around me. "Kaeli, you have to realize someone could have the safest profession in the world, and well...shit happens. The banker could get hit by a car walking across the parking lot to his office or drop dead of a heart attack while sitting at his desk. The restaurant owner could be shot by an armed robber. The self employed entrepreneur could slip off a curb and hit his head while getting his mail. Life is full of risks, but we have to keep living. At least Ryan has people and equipment whose job it is to keep him safe. Comparing what Ryan does to what Jason did is like apples and oranges."