Infinity Times Infinity (Book One)

Chapter 13

Mikaela's POV

After breakfast the next morning, Chase and Holly left for Georgia, and Ryan and I took Libby for a walk around the property.

Ryan had just moved here, maybe a month or so ago. There was a lot of land. Acres of it. It was very peaceful and beautiful. Private and secluded. The perfect place to shut out the rest of the world.

Even though he wasn't really sure what he was going to do with all of it, the property had a lot of potential.

The house was a very nice 4 bedroom, two story with an open floor plan and a lot of natural light. It just needed some personal touches. There was a stocked pond on the property as well as a pool and hot tub.

We finished our tour of the property and returned to the house. We went into the living room to watch a movie, and I knew we needed to talk if whatever this was that we were trying to build was going to work.

"Ryan, I do want us to move forward. I just have so many concerns. I wish that I could be more carefree like Holly, but I'm not. I used to be that way, but life circumstances have forced me to be more cautious. I wish I could dive headfirst into the unknown, but I can't. I do want to be with you, I just don't want to rush into this anymore than we already have. I'm just asking you to please be patient with me."

"Of course I will." He squeezed my hand. "I know this whole thing between us started off as one thing and turned into another, and it's been a bit of a crazy ride, but trust me, there is no one else I'd rather take that ride with. There is something between us that we can't fight, and it is up to us to figure it all out. I want us to really get to know each other. To be able to talk about anything. I know there are some things you are not ready to share, I understand that. I just hope that someday you will be. I will never do anything to hurt you, I hope you know that and you trust me and if something makes you uncomfortable, you'll talk to me."

My heart swelled. "I promise." I said.

We continued to watch the movie when Ryan spoke. "I've never been in a relationship before."

I was actually surprised by his confession.

He went on. "I've always been more focused on my career than dating. There were women, but always casual. I was never sure of their intentions, if they were only into me for money or status, or really into me. For that reason, I chose my career over getting involved with anyone. You are the first one that I haven't been able to walk away from. There is something that keeps pulling me to you, and it's not just sex. I want to know you, not just your body, but what goes on in your mind. I told you this was all new to me." He confided.

I decided then that I was ready to talk about Jason.

"I had known Jason practically my entire life. He was a couple of years older than me, but we came from a small town where everyone knows each other. Goes to school together, rides the same bus, goes to the same church. Our parents were friends, so we kind of grew up together. We started dating when I got to high school. At sixteen, he became my first. I was his first. He was enlisting in the army and would be going away soon. We continued dating for the next few years. He would come home as often as he could. I was pursuing my music career at the time. He was the one who encouraged me to audition for American Idol."

I paused to catch my breath before continuing on.

"Shortly before my audition, he proposed and I accepted. We were planning to get married the following year. During the competition, I received word that he was killed in action. My entire world was rocked and turned completely upside down. My first thought was to quit Idol. I had no desire to go on. The producers were understanding and postponed the show for a week while I attended his services. His mother gave me a letter that he had written in the event that anything happened to him, encouraging me to go on, so I did. For him."