Cloudy Skies {Kaneki x Fem!Reader}

13: Breaking Through the Cracks

    A/N: This chapter is dedicated to 'Sorry' by Nothing But Thieves. One of the greatest rock bands I've ever come across! Give them a listen if you'd like to. Hope you all like the chapter!!! Stay safe!! <3333333

  "Hey, I was almost worried that you wouldn't come back." You joked, yet, part of what you had said was true. Hide laughed in response. You figured that he didn't catch on to what you meant due to the way you had stated it. Kaneki stood behind you, facing in the exact same spot he was prior. Touka slowly walked up to him as you side-eyed her. Not long after you and Hide seated yourselves again, Kaneki and Touka headed up the stairs to talk privately. You rolled your eyes with a grimace on your face. Luckily, Hide wasn't paying attention as his vision was placed on the sandwich he had ordered.
  Hide and you discussed your jobs, though, you were too caught up in getting your questions answered by Kaneki to really indulge with Hide's company. You felt bad. Later on, it had gotten quite late, so you and Hide decided to head out. You both gave Touka the amount of money that was owed, plus a tip. The guilt that always seemed to be suffocating Touka caused her to resemble a lost, helpless animal. You thought that it was saddening, knowing that Touka was always the type of Ghoul that was very brutal and straight forward. While she was incredibly kind to those she cared about, she never once backed down from anyone.
  It was obvious that if the opportunity had risen to fight, she wouldn't hesitate, but there was just something about her that shifted how you saw her. You weren't too sure on whether it was a front she was putting up, or if that was how she was truly behaving in the current time. Even still, you would continue to be wary. As you and Hide began to leave, you stopped halfway down the sidewalk.
"Is something wrong? Did you forget something inside?" Hide asked, walking closer to you.
"No, I just remembered I needed to ask Touka something." You lied through your teeth, not doing a very good job. Hide wasn't all that suspicious over your explanation. He always found it incredibly difficult at times to tell whether you were truly lying or not due to you not having any real ticks to show that you were. Sometimes he found it fairly easy to tell if you were lying, but there were far more times that it was strenuous.
"You know Touka too?" Hide asked randomly. You nodded.
"A bit, yeah. I helped her get into Kamii after she graduated high school." You continued with your lie. It wasn't a secret that Touka was attending Kamii, though, you had absolutely nothing to do with her enrolling. Hide nodded.
"Oh well, go on and talk to her and I'll just head home. I'd like to do this again sometime." Hide insisted, happily. You nodded profusely.
"You can count on that." You agreed eagerly before Hide had walked on. You waved goodbye before walking back into Anteiku. Touka was inquisitive over your lone return.
"Relax, I come in peace." You mentioned, forcing a smile. Touka gave you a tight lipped visage just as Kaneki appeared within the same room from the stairs. Touka retained her average blank faced self. You sighed, then looked over at Kaneki.
"What do you want?" Kaneki asked, visibly irritated.
"Would you calm the fuck down?" You replied, letting out a minuscule chuckle.
"Why should I when you're coming here acting the way you are?" Kaneki mentioned, Touka glanced over at you, worried. You looked at Kaneki, still faced. You took a deep breath with tenderly shut eyes. You wanted to keep your cool as long as you could. If it really were a situation where they were all forced to attack you, who were you to cast such heinous blame on them.
"I do believe I have every right to act the way I've been acting, don't you think?" You defended yourself. Touka gave you a brief expression that rendered understanding. Kaneki opened his mouth to speak but he was at a complete loss of what to say. A part of you was still so angered that despite the power all of you held together as a team and with Kaneki wanting to make peace between Ghouls and human, it baffled you knowing that they refused to tell you anything about that night.
"Cat got your tongue?" You questioned, tilting your head to the side with consideration. Your cynical side never ceased to be heard. Kaneki gazed at you, without any type of readable expression. You exhaled, bored.
"I know there's more to what happened that night. So, why don't you just tell me? It couldn't hurt." You explained, demanding once more. Kaneki looked away, he had become an incredibly heart-wrenched mess on the inside over what you had said.
"What makes you think there's something to what happened?" Kaneki interrogated. You laughed at him, offended that he took you for a modern fool.
"Because every time Touka sees my face she looks like she's ready to jump off a cliff. Even though you try to hide that mask of emotionless bullshit, I can see you want to tell me something too. So just fucking tell me, god dammit!" You raised your voice, begging them to explain themselves.
"It's not like we don't want to." You heard a familiar voice, causing your demeanor and expression to shift completely. Ayato had revealed himself from upstairs.
"We can't." Ayato finished his statement after reaching the bottom step. He was speaking seriously.
"Explain why you can't tell me then." You replied.
"We can't do that either." Kaneki added.
"Well, I deserve some sort of explanation, don't I?" Everyone remained silent for a moment. It took Kaneki a moment to muster up any courage to speak.
"Ever since Eto died, things became different before we met you. That's all I can say." Kaneki admitted, yet it was still extremely cryptic. Touka and Ayato looked at him, warily. You squinted your eyes with moderate disbelief.
"Alright, so who can I talk to that can answer my questions. Since you're all too chicken shit to say anything, there must be someone who isn't, right?" You asked. Kaneki released a pent up sigh, rubbing the bridge of his nose between his index finger and thumb out of frustration.
"That's too dangerous." Kaneki mentioned suddenly.
"Since when do you care about my safety?" You said with a mocking laugh, angering Kaneki.
"That's enough." Kaneki shouted, fed up with your words. You glared at him.
"Enlighten me then. Since you won't tell me, that must mean there isn't a secret reason behind it like you're making it seem. It means you decided to treat me like an outcast and nearly kill me just because you wanted to. Either admit that's all you wanted to do or tell me what this secret is. If you can't do that, I'm going to continue to look for answers with or without your help." You feel yourself strain in frustration.
"Don't talk to me as if you know anything about me or my intentions." Kaneki defended, becoming annoyed with you.
"Oh?" You looked down and tittered. You inhaled confidently.
    "Alright, well, here's what I know about you and all of your intentions. On that night, I noticed that Touka and Ayato were too upset to even look me in the eye, and clearly wanted to stop. Irimi and Koma couldn't even stand to hurt me, yet they barely even knew me. I'm not too sure on what Nishiki was feeling, but then again I never did. But Kaneki—" You looked over at him before continuing; your voice was so cold. His eyes widened after realizing that it was the first time you had said his real name. He wasn't sure how to feel about it, considering how aggravated you were when you muttered it.
"I could see you for the heartless man you were at that time." You explained, Kaneki clenched his jaw, suddenly slamming both of his hands on the counter. He was sneering at you so aggressively. While you were slightly lying, you smiled, unmoved by his mannerisms.
"But," You continued, almost as if you wished to reassure him.
"When I simply asked why you did all of that, there was a certain tone in your voice that got me thinking. Your voice held a tinge of regret, showing me that you were haunted by what I'm guessing you were forced to do. Even though you've trained your voice to hide what you feel, your eyes show all of it. I'm not sure if you just flicked on a switch and made yourself appear so cold, but you didn't fool me completely." You revealed. Kaneki averted his eyes, not knowing whether he should respond or not. You chuckled a little, reminding yourself of the past.
"You all suck at hiding your true emotions by the way." You smirked a little, putting your hands in your pockets. Kaneki ran his hands through his raven black hair; the shade was almost menacing in its abyss-like appearance. A tall man with silver hair stepped into the coffee shop from outside. He was hauntingly surprised to see you. You gave him a confused expression as you stood on guard from his recognition over you. Who the hell is he? You mentally asked yourself.
"Y/N?" The man questioned, causing your confusion to grow into worry.
"Have we met?" You questioned, your stance shifted.
"This is Yomo." Kaneki introduced immediately, not wanting a fight to break out.
"I'm guessing he's a close friend as well? I'm surprised we've never met until now. How do you know my name?" You raised an eyebrow, holding your hand out to shake Yomo's warily. While you decided to give him the benefit of the doubt, you could feel a welcoming aura inside of him.
"Every Ghoul in all the wards of Tokyo know who you are." Yomo explained. You squinted your eyes with petrified curiosity.