Chapter Thirty One - Alena's P.O.V

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Chapter Thirty One - Alena's P.O.V

Our lips moved together perfectly. Our bodies held each other like fitting puzzle pieces on the first try. Everything was warm, everything was safe.

"Oh how I missed this," he breathed out between kisses. I responded in my head but couldn't bother stopping to say it out loud. "Lena, are you sure you're okay with this?" His low voice asked me.

"Yes, wow it's been so long since I've heard you call me that." Something about it sounds different in his voice, makes me feel different. Our kisses and motions continued, everything escalating so quickly that I could feel my control of the situation slipping from my grasp. "Are you okay with this Tyler?"

"Yes," he answered immediately. With that, no following second was wasted. His shirt was pulled over his head and thrown across the room. I looked down and admired his body; his once thin torso was now more toned, tan, and lined with a few tattoos that I hadn't seen so clearly until now. I traced the lines with my fingers, distracted from the initial task at hand. Tyler brought his lips back to mine, pulling my attention back, too. Clothes continued falling to the floor, and we just got more and more tangled up in one another.

My mind was totally gone. I was lost in him, in every possible way. This bus became a small bubble for us to float away from the rest of the world in, and I wasn't planning on coming back.

That was, until our bodies fell together onto the couch. Staring up at the ceiling of this tour bus, naked, and coming down from what can only be described as pure euphoria, I was crashing down hard. I was spiraling straight into the concrete, and there was no stopping it now.

"Oh, my god, Tyler how did that just happen?" I brought my hands up to my head and closed my eyes, trying to make sense of what had just happened. As my fingers ran through my hair, my left hand got caught. I pulled and winced before Tyler jumped up to help untangle me.

Out of the knots came my engagement ring, which pulled a couple of strands of my hair out with it. "Oh my god," I sighed again to myself. How could I have let this happen?

"Alena, I know what you're thinking but I just have to say-"

"Tyler how could we have done this?" I was practically screaming. Quickly, I stood and gathered my clothes, redressing and trying to compose myself.

"I know, it's not good, but please-"

"No, it's not good at all! Tyler I am engaged, and you have a girlfriend! This was so wrong. I cannot believe we just did that. I am a horrible person. How am I supposed to go home? I cannot do this."

"Please, stop pacing Alena, it's only making this worse."

"Yes, my pacing around the bus is what makes us fucking on your tour bus so bad. My apologies." I couldn't bite my tongue. I was totally stuck in my head, which just happened to be spinning at one hundred miles per hour. "Pardon my language."

Tyler stood up and walked over to me, putting both hands on my shoulders and squaring me to face him. I noticed that sometime during my panic, he hand put his jeans back on. His shirt, however, remained on the floor.

"You are not a horrible person, Lena. Please stop. We just did a, horrible thing." His voice sounded like he almost didn't believe his own words.

"Yes, this is a horrible thing. I am a horrible person for doing this horrible thing."

"Will you sit, please? Let's talk about this..."

"Tyler, what is there to talk about? We need to forget that this ever happened. I am leaving tomorrow and going home. And we are just going to go back to our lives and pretend that this never happened, okay?"

"No, not okay." He was a stone, firm and somehow significantly less freaked than I was.

"Excuse me, what?"

"I cannot pretend that this didn't happen, Lena, not when this is exactly what should have happened."

"How can you even say that Tyler? What we did was beyond wrong." I felt so slimy, so vile and awful.

"Okay, maybe it could've happened under better circumstances. But Alena, really, you are lying if you say that that wasn't amazing. Us being together has been hard, but that's because we cannot be together without being... together. Words can't explain how right that was."

"I cannot even believe what I am hearing right now. We are not seventeen anymore. Our lives are different, we are different. And even if this were eight years ago, we were in no place to be doing this. Things ended between us for a reason, Tyler. We've already talked about this."

"We have, and I think we both walked away from that conversation realizing how stupid we were when we were younger." I tried to chime in, but he just kept going, now bringing his right hand up and cupping the side of my face in it. "We let go Alena. We got tired and stopped trying and I regret it every day. We don't have to deal with that anymore. We can fall in love again."

My eyes closed, and I soon felt a tear rolling down my cheek. I cannot even say why these tears were falling; all at once, I was feeling so many emotions. Is there a right answer to all of that?

"I don't know, Ty. I think it's too late for us. I'm sorry." With my final apology, I pulled his hand away and stood up to leave the bus. He shouted for me to stop, but I needed to get off of that bus. Our once shielded bubble had been totally popped, and now I was left to clean up the mess it made. 

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