Don't Forget About Me (Lovely Sequel)

Chapter Thirty Two - Alena's P.O.V

Chapter Thirty Two - Alena's P.O.V

Every passing day is a reminder of what I've done. As symptoms begin to appear, I am given yet another thing to try and hide. I cannot bring myself to tell Derrick, not until I know. Once I know, then I will have to make a decision.

In the mean time, I will continue laying low. Thankfully I am not even close to showing in my stomach; still, I wear looser sweaters to hide any possible semblance of a baby bump. My morning sickness often comes by the time Derrick has left for work, thankfully. Perhaps the only difference he might notice is that I've been declining his offers for a drink at the end of the night, but drinking has never been routine for either of us anyway.

Still being without work meant trying to keep busy. It's not that I didn't want to get back out there, I just didn't know what I was trying to get back into. I still needed time to figure things out, and that just was not at the top of my list. Derrick and I only had each other to gift for the holidays, and I had enough saved up to get by for a little while.

So, I entertained myself with errands and chores. Today meant dropping off donation items I had cleaned out of closets and off of shelves yesterday, and going grocery shopping. Searching the isles alone wasn't exactly my favorite pastime. Frankly, it often made me nervous. If I wandered and didn't know where to find something, I felt as though everyone was watching me scramble around confused. And don't even get me started on the check-out counter. Between having to bag everything so quickly while the cashier throws everything at me and having to put my change back in my wallet slowly enough that it goes in the right place but not so slow that I'm holding up the line; as I said before, it's just not my favorite.

But thankfully, I have started going through the self check-out instead. At this counter, I can do everything at my own pace, which makes me as relaxed as I possibly can be on this day.

As I swipe the barcodes over counter's built-in scanner, my eyes wander next to the screen to find a magazine rack. My eyes are met by Tyler's, staring back at me from the cover of Billboard. Reminded of the last time I saw his face on a magazine cover, my heart sank into my stomach. That's what started it all, I told myself, now distracted from scanning my fruits.

Had I not found that AP cover, perhaps I could have remained unknowing; unknowing of his life, and who he had become. Maybe I could've been happier as I continued with my day to day life with Derrick and Bentley shortly after. Maybe I wouldn't have left my job, or seen Blake again. Maybe I would be okay.

As I reached into empty space in my cart and realized there was nothing else to grab, I was pulled out of my trance. I took out my wallet and paid, quickly trying to get back to my car and out of this place; out of these thoughts.

Or maybe, my mind started again as I sat back in the driver's seat, had I not found that, I would've been ignorant to the truth. What that truth was, I didn't completely understand yet. Or if I had, I refused to put the words together.

At one point, I probably knew with more certainty what it was that I wanted. Everything has changed since that time. For better or worse? I still wasn't sure.

Bright red was glowing above my car as I came to a stop. Waiting as the other cars passed, I brought my right hand from the steering wheel to the bottom of my belly, holding what I somehow always forget is going to become my baby. I never thought it would happen this way. In my dreams, it had always been after we were married. It had been during a time that I could be excited about it and tell all of my friends... tell the father... that I was going to be a mom. This thought of what could've been clouded my mind for the remainder of my drive home.