DC Girls X Male Reader

Issue #44: Settling In

I woke up and immediately tried shooting everything around me, but no bullets or batarangs came out of my- oh they took off my wrist cannons. I was in a strange room. All black, small bed, a computer, with all of the news clothes Barbara got me already in a closet. Speaking of clothes... I felt the lower half of my body and felt pants still there.

"Oh, thank god she is a lesbian after all." I said with a sigh of relief. Then I heard an "ahem". I looked over and saw Batwoman standing in the doorway with a scowl on her face and her costume on.

"Rest up. You start training and working tomorrow." Batwoman said.

"Good morning to you, too..." I muttered.

"It's 2 o'clock in the afternoon." Batwoman said before walking away. I looked around for something to do and I decided the best idea was the play shitty games on newgrounds... Until I realized there was vomit on my shirt.

"Oh god dammit..." I muttered before taking off my coat and my shirt. Once the shirt was over my face I heard someone go "He- Oh! Sorry!" I took the shirt fully off and saw Barbara there.

"Hey, Babs." I said.

"Uh, Yeah, Hey. Sooooo I see Batwoman got you to come back."

"Well, she actually drugged me and dragged me back here but I would've come back on my own accord, too." I said.

"She what!?"

"She was afraid I was gonna shoot someone again."

"Oh. Well, I'm glad you're back... Hey, can I ask you something?"

"You just did."

"Shut it, jackass. When you show Azrael and thought everyone hated you you seemed genuinely disappointed. Why? I mean when I first met you you were a complete loner. And then after we become friends you told me you rejected being in a team with your best friend, Jason, so why were you upset not to join a team that isn't going to let you kill criminals?"

"I dunno. I was completely wasted. I can only guess if I did say that it was because I had this weird bootleg Stockholm syndrome where I missed the team I was held in against my will. But it's not like I could get the band back together. God knows where Harley or Duela is, Croc and Dad are dead, the only ones who I have a chance of finding are Boomerang, Diablo, and Enchantress and I wasn't exactly close to the last two. So might as well start from scratch and start a new dysfunctional family... except this time I'll take the Boomerang roll of getting beat up by everyone."

"Please don't."

"Oi, what's wrong with trying to be like Old Digger?" I said in a bad Australian accent making Barbara laugh.

"Besides he's Captain Boomerang?" She asked rolling her eyes. "I'll talk to you later. Put a shirt on." Babs said before walking out of the room.

"Don't tell me what to do." I muttered before going over to the computer. "Alright, haven't had WiFi in a year, let me see what music came out for me to illegally download." I said. "Yo ho, Yo ho! A pirate's life for me! Yo ho yo-"

"Hey, (Y,N), right?"

"I WASN'T DOING ANYTHING ILLEGAL!" I said with my hands up and turning around. There stood Tim looking at me with a raised eyebrow in his Red Robin costume. "Oh, it's you. What's up?"

"Just wanted to see how you were feeling. I saw Kate bring you back to the base. You were completely out of it." He said.

"Yeah, well, I'm fine. Listen, if we're gonna be friends, you shouldn't worry about me too much. I get my shit pushed in a lot, wether it's by a super villain or by myself."

"Friends?"

"What do you not wanna be friends?"

"Well, no it's the opposite! It's just a surprise. I talked to Barbara about you before and you don't really have the best track record when it comes to Bat Family members."

"...To what extent do you know about the shitty shit I've done to you guys?"

"Well, you definitely don't like Nightwing-"

"Heheheheheheh, Dick."

"You know his name?"

"Yeah, it's funny."

"Well anyway, one of the first things on your resume is breaking his arm. And then the stuff recently where you fought him in Barbara's house. And then you were one of Barbara's main enemies before you got abducted by Harley Quinn. Plus you've fought Batman dozens of times. And I'm gonna bet you don't really like Robin."

"Oh that little shit? I'm gonna break his arm t- I mean, what? No! Water under the bridge with most of you guys... still hate Dick, though."

"Well I guess what I'm trying to say is I'm surprised you're so open to the idea of being friends."

"Well I'm positive I drunkenly mentioned I'm pals with Jason and that whole group. I'm an honorary outlaw. You're the only one he ever talked about positively. Well, he called you a dork but it was part of a compliment."

"How?"

"'I'm just happy a dork like him could get a girl as smoking as Stephanie. He deserves it.'"

"Oh, right. Steph. Yeah, I guess I did kinda luck out on that." Tim said. "Well, it's nice to hear Jason thinks so highly of me." He said before muttering "Even though he tried murdering me... twice."

"But yeah, man, you're the only one who doesn't seem like a colossal tool from the way Jason described you so if you ever wanna hang after a mission just let me know. I ain't going anywhere anytime soon."

"Alright, uhhh cool m-man." Tim said trying to sound cool.  "I'll let you know. And welcome to the team." He said before walking out.

"...What a dork." I said to myself before going "Wait why am I still not wearing a shirt?" I walked over to my closet and started flipping trough shirts. "Wait, What the hell?" I said pulling out a certain shirt. "Why did Barbara buy me a god damn Green Day shirt!?" I said before throwing it on the ground. I looked through my duffle bag and found my box of matches. I struck one and dropped it onto the shirt and watched it burn. As I did I heard a knock on my wall before someone say "Hey (Y,N)? Can I call you (Y- Oh! My bad! I didn't know you were changing!" I looked over and saw that Stephanie girl. She was in a purple flannel jacket and a shirt that said "Don't Talk to Me Until I've Had My Coffee".

"Heeeeeey, Stephanie. Hey, is there like a door over there somewhere because I'm not gonna lie, you're the fourth person to be in my room in the last twenty minutes and I'm starting to get annoyed." I said.

"I'm sorry! I'll leave."

"Nah, you can stay." I said putting on a shirt that said "It Isn't Murder When You Know They're Already Dead".

"...Why is there a burning shirt on the ground?"

"Babs bought me a Green Day t shirt. I don't like Green Day."

"Wait, you don't like Green Day too?"

"No one actually likes Green Day. Middle schoolers and emo high schoolers just say they like Green Day to-"

"Pretend they like punk rock."
"Pretend they like punk rock!" We said at the same time. Stephanie smiled at me before shaking her head.

"Anyway, I just wanted to Uh, check in on you. You seemed pretty upset yesterday."

"Nice understatement. Before you ask for specifics I'm fine right now. I'll probably lay off the drinks... for like a week. I've gotta learn how repressing feelings works." I said.

"Oh, well that's good... I-I guess." Stephanie said looking another way. She was clearly uncomfortable with the turn the conversation took. "So, Uh, I wanted to like, welcome you and everything to the team and I was wondering... I kinda got these two tickets to go see The Bloodhound Gang tonight but Tim and Cass don't wanna go, Clayface only watches movies, Luke doesn't like them, I don't wanna hang out with Azrael, and Batwoman isn't really an out of work frie-"

"Yeah, Okay, I'm gonna stop you right there. I already told you yesterday you don't have to be nice to me and besides I'm not interested it going to see your friend's little Indy b- Wait did you say Bloodhound Gang?"