Phan Oneshots!

Afraid to fall

Desc- Phil's been broken but Danny is fixing him... cliche ik lol 

Phil's POV-

For ages now, I've been afraid. Afraid of vulnerability. Afraid of showing my weaknesses. Afraid of falling in love. Ever since that day, that horrible day, the 14th Of January, I've cornered myself off from people. I haven't dealt with his death well at all. However, one stubborn person won't let me completely abandon my social life. Daniel Howell. He's a burden but a good one. When Cody died he helped me through it, stopped me from killing myself, made me eat, made me keep talking... the only reason I don't like this is because months after he died I realised I have feelings for him and now we live together and I don't want to ruin it. I'm frightened of everything, including change. I'm fragile. But Dan's making me more sturdy.

"PHIL!" Dan shouts, making me jump. I look over at him and give him the death glare.

"Pay attention to the movie! You love this one!" He urges.

"Ok, ok" I mutter. He sighs and pauses the movie.

"What's wrong?" He asks.

"Nothing" I answer.

"I don't believe you" he implores.

"I was just thinking... about him" I decide to tell him the truth, well, parts of it.

"Oh Phil" He gives me a cuddle. I snuggle into him, letting myself get lost in his embrace, until I find myself again and snap back into reality. I unwrap him arms from around me and get up.

"Shall we go for a walk so you can clear your head?" He asks. It's like he can read my mind. I nod and he gets up to go.

Later, we're sat down on the grass together. I pick the grass and sigh. Dan looks at me as if to say 'do you want me here?'. I answer with a look that says 'yes' and lay down on the grass. He lays down next to me.

"Dan?"

"Yeah?"

"Do you think Cody would want me to move on?" I ask. He looks at me with a puzzled expression.

"Cody would have wanted you to be happy. And whatever that is, you're not it" he says seriously. I timidly put my hand on his.

"I'm happy with you" I say. He looks down at our hands and I watch as is eyes trail back to mine.

"Then why aren't you fully happy?" He asks. I lean forward so our noses almost touch, we keep eye contact.

"Because," I lean in closer still, he looks down at my lips then back up at my eyes. I hold his cheek. "I'm hiding" I finish my sentence and press my lips against his. He wraps his arms tightly around my waist and the butterflies in my stomach intensify. I shift slightly and feel myself slip. It's then that I realise we were laying near a hill. Dan and I share a look of shock before we start rolling down. I scream and he does too. We keep rolling until we land in a heap. I open one eye tentatively. Dan's on top of me, looking around presumably to see if he's still alive. He looks back down at me. We then burst into laughter. Dan's wheezing and so am I. We calm down after a bit and get up. We sit next to each other and look at each other. He kisses me on the cheek. I love him.