she's mine.

55

My brother picking me up right after the.. incident/news scandal/reveal of secret lovers past.. whatever you want to call it, was just a mere miraculous coincidence honestly. I liked to think my guardian angel knew I needed saving and sent him my way, but we all know if that were the case I wouldn't have even met Eli Jones. If my guardian angel cared about me I would've been saved the heartbreak entirely. But I wasn't. Jonny didn't pick me up at my request or anyone else's, instead it was because he wanted to prepare me for the interview taking place on Thursday.

He wanted me there. Well, he couldn't really risk not having me there, and the fact that the fight was in Denver was all in his favor. He only had so long between training so he said he wanted to bring me home for lunch. He walked me through everything on the drive so really going home was just for him to shower and me to grab food. He went over what I was and was not allowed to say. There was a lot more on the latter list. I chewed on my bottom lip as I tried not to get distracted from my brother, but my thoughts wouldn't stop from wandering to Eli.

I hadn't been apart of an interview before, so I knew this was really important to Jonny. I smiled and nodded as he told me over and over what kind of questions would be asked.

When we got back home Jonny ran to the shower, and I had just barely sat down ready to figure everything out when there was a knock on the door.

I hadn't expected Eli. I hadn't even had time to let everything sink in and let the tears fall, we all knew they were coming. This was all too much. So when I cracked the door to see his sharp features anticipating the next move, I wanted so badly to turn and run. I forced myself to see what he wanted. I would not show that this bothered me. It shouldn't really, bother me that is, but it did.

I felt betrayed for some odd reason. As if he had actually cheated on me, as if he actually owed me the truth when Kaitlyn called him out in front of all of us. I had to remind myself not to be crazy. We weren't even dating. He probably never even had intentions of dating me. I was so stupid to think that. I am sure he just wanted another challenge the way guys like Eli do. I was stupid to think I was anything other than just another girl to him. Why would a guy like Eli like me anyways? He was.. possibly the most attractive human being, and he didn't need anyone. He was Eli Jones. He had never needed anyone before, always took care of everything without needing help from anyone. He probably just felt like I was another burden- someone else to add to the list of people he had to take care of.

And on top of all of this, he obviously wanted a girl that wasn't me.

There was something deep in me that didn't want to break that promise that I made to myself that I would only give myself to one man. Eli's track record made me believe I was nothing more than a notch he hoped to add to his belt.

The fact that he was standing on my door step looking as if he would gladly give me the loaded gun to shoot him in the chest, made me weak in my knees. His deep raspy voice whispered my name and I think wondered if I had the same tortured look on my face as I imagined blissfully handing the brown eyed boy my beating heart. How could I not give him anything he wanted? How could I not forgive him? I quickly glanced back just to be sure Jonny wasn't stumbling down the stairs after me, and stepped out to him.

I didn't know what to say; like I said, I couldn't be mad at him for anything other than the fact that he had looked me in the eye and say no. I couldn't change what had happened, we weren't dating, he did it before everything he had said yesterday, but he could have warned me. Could have had the decency to let me hear it from him rather than KAITLYN. I shouldn't have even given him the opportunity to hurt me in the first place. I looked like such an idiot defending him when he walked in just to LIE to me. He lied to my face, and I could see it in his eyes.