she's mine.

68

eli's pov

Over time we always learned about the evil ways people were tortured. The pulling of nails and beatings people would lay on those who had information, was something I had always correlated with the word torture. Sometimes it would take longer than usual, but often times the tortured would cave and give up what was wanted. Physical torture was something sustainable to me though; I had always been able to take a hit. Jaw of steel is what the guys said, but what I had never considered was the power of internal torture.

They should have just made men fall in love with a woman who they would never be good enough for, because that would do the trick, that would make even the toughest of the toughest fall. They would never had needed all the extras because with that, they could steal a man's whole spirit and some.

I remember hearing a story when I was younger, of a man with strength from Heaven itself being able to take down a thousand men with the jawbone of a donkey, but was defeated by his own love for a woman. Nobody could find his weakness, until the woman he loved convinced him to tell her. I never understood it before, never understood the concept of letting someone else, let alone a woman, have or know the one thing that could break you.. until now.

Until Rai.

Now I see. Now I understand how he, as well as all those men in Shakespeare's stories could willingly hand over their lives to a woman. I also saw how it could quickly turn to torture when that woman didn't love you back, or in my case which seemed to be worse- far worse- to have that woman love you back yet knowing you would never deserve to have her.

I knew for a fact, that I could never deserve Rai.

She was good. So good.

I could never be good enough for her. I could never be that guy. No matter how much she thought I was, I wasn't, and that.. was torture. She didn't know.. She didn't know what I'd done, and that was so much worse.

I thought about it the whole way to Rock's. Jonny followed me in the Bugatti while I drove my car even though it probably wasn't a good idea- there was no way for me to take the blame if I wasn't in the car. He seemed to like the car a lot and I felt better in my own car anyways so I didn't care. I told Levi to go home. I told him it'd be an easy drop, but honestly I didn't want him to be apart of any more than he had to. I didn't want him to see more than was necessary and I didn't know how this was about to go.

Jonny seemed calm now, but if I stood in front of the man who killed my father, my corks would go unhinged. I didn't even understand how he could look at me, let alone help me. I was constantly waiting for him to take a knife to my back, but he seemed real enough. I couldn't believe it.

I didn't deserve him either- him and his help. He and his sister were too good to be true, something had to be coming to take them away.

When we pulled into Rock's shop, he already had guys outside waiting for us. I had told him we were coming sooner than expected so he would be ready.

We pulled in flashbacks from before hit me in the gut. This was the place where I took my first real beatings, the place that ruined my life, the place where I lost myself. I felt dizzy just looking at the crap hole. There was still a dirty musty air all around and smoke hovering over everything the way it had when I'd first come here.

I pulled in and Jonny followed. I parked in the same spot I'd always parked and got out of the car. Jonny parked in the spot next to mine and did the same. When he got out I watched him pull his shirt over the back of his jeans and knew this night was not going to end well.. one way or the other.