Fame : Sammy Wilk : discontinued

Chapter 2

Sammy

Living in LA is great. Yea at times I miss Omaha and what I left behind, my family, my friends, Vanessa.

There was this special connection between us. I don't know if it was love, but I really liked having her around. She was always there for me and that's what I loved.

She's done so much for me. One time she skipped school because I was sick, and trust me when I say that she never misses school, like ever. She's even called off from work because she went to surprise me at a magcon event in New York.

I couldn't even tell her one simple goodbye all because I couldn't bring myself to look into her eyes. I couldn't tell her that I'm leaving her and then watch those piercing brown eyes fill with tears.

That was one thing I couldn't do, watching her cry made my chest tighten. The fact that she was hurting, hurt me. She was always a lot more sensitive than others due to her anxiety.

I remember my mom calling me one day and telling me that after I left I caused a lot of damage to her. That there was a week in which Vanessa cried for hours everyday and that she couldn't even get out of bed. My mom told me to call her, but I couldn't hurt her anymore than I already had.

After the conversation with my mom, I had a hard time staying focused and doing anything. Knowing that I caused her pain really impacted me. The guys pushed me to keep working and doing what I love, to distract me from Vanessa.

Which is what I did, I kept writing and hitting the studio almost everyday. I would hang out with all the guys and party, and that's where I met Stass.

At first she was a distraction from Vanessa, but it eventually got a little bit more serious. As much as I hate to admit, Vanessa is always in the back of my mind, which sounds a bit fucked up. But I do like my relationship with stassie, she's a really good person who's always pushing me to try my hardest. But not everything has been perfect.

"Hey babe." I said walking into her apartment.

"Hey Sammy." She said coming up to kiss me.

"So what did you want to talk about?" I asked sitting on the couch.

"Well I have something I need to get off my chest." She smiled. I nodded indicated for her to keep going.

"So I know that me and you haven't been together for that long, but you make me really happy." She said.

"Okay." I said, wondering where this was going.

"I love you." She said softly.

In that moment I didn't know what to say. Love is a really strong word for me. Yea I really like her, but love is something serious and meaningful.

"Are you not going to say it back?" She questioned with a disappointing look on her face.

"Look I really like you, but I don't know if I'm at that next level yet." I said truthfully.

"Why not, don't tell me you love Vanessa." She scoffed.

"No she's just someone from back home. How do you even know about her?" I asked. Not once have I mentioned Vanessa to her.

"I hear your conversations with your mom and the guys. You're also always staring at your phone screen, is that her?" She said clearly mad.

"She's my best friend from Omaha, we lived across the street from each other. That's it. Why are you listening to my conversations?" I said.

"That's not the point Sammy, are you in love with her? Is that why you can't say it to me?" She said getting up from the couch.

"No, she's just a friend." I sighed.

It's been about a year and a half since I've been with Stass, and I've told her I loved her, hoping that with each I love you I'll bring myself to genuinely mean it.

It hasn't been the easiest relationship, due to her constantly bringing up Vanessa. It was hard to explain to her why I got Vanessa a Christmas present last time we were in Omaha.

I was glad my family liked stass. Although I'm not sure my mom was too fond of her or our relationship, but she tried to get along with stass.

I remember going over to Vanessa's house hoping to see her. I knew she was home, her car was in the driveway. I just went along with the lie her mom told me because I never really expected her to want to see me after I left.

"Hey honey how'd it go?" My mom asked as I walked through the front door.

"She didn't wanna see me." I sighed looking down at kitchen island.

"Was she home?" My mom asked rubbing my back.

"I saw her car outside, but her mom told me she wasn't home, but I heard her crying." I said rubbing my face.

"Samuel she's not the same person that you knew, you really broke her heart, she's hurting. You have to understand her." By now tears were filling my eyes as my mom spoke.

"I hate myself for doing that to her." I said, at this moment I was thankful that stass and my sisters were at the mall.

"She'll come around one day." My mom said pulling me into a hug.

Two days later I had called her thanking god she picked up. We had a brief conversation, but she quickly hung up. Her voice was so gentle and quiet.

"So is Vanessa coming over?" My dad asked.

"No, she has to go to work." I sighed.

"It'll be alright son. Ben is taking you guys to the airport, there's traffic so I suggest you guys leave now so you don't miss your flight." My dad said.

"Alright, and dad?" I said quickly.

"Yea son?" He asked.

"Can you please keep an eye on Vanessa for me? I'm really worried about her." I said.

"Of course I will." He smiled lightly.

Now here I am, the start of summer, four years later, on my way to Kylie's pool party with stassie, questioning my life choices.