The Jocks mate is the school nerd

Because, okay?

"We need to talk" I deleted the message as soon as I had received it.

My entire family have been lying to me; I thought I'd feel something more than what I feel now because all I feel now is nothing at all. The last time I felt like this was when my dad passed. I pushed myself up from my bed and walked towards the mirror on the wall, I looked a mess to say the least.

I don't ever want to leave this room, I guess its easier to sit in here and wallow in my own self pity than to face the world and the people who have disguised the fact that my dad was a disgusting self-obsessed murderer, but even though I know he's a murderer and I know he's taken innocent lives Id still give anything just to see him one last time - is that selfish?

Picking up the fluffy dressing gown I pulled it on and walked towards the door - it's now or never. Slowly I unlocked the door and walked out of the room, the wooden floor was cold on my bare feet and I could hear the faintly muffled voices from downstairs had just halted.

Just go down, I had to try and persuade myself that this was best for me, but I couldn't and I didn't want to so I did what all cowards do, I ran back and locked myself in my room. My back fell heavy against the large door as I slid down it, tears flowed freely as I tried to muffle the sounds with my dressing gown arm.

"Carly, please listen to me. I'm sorry for what happened but I thought you needed to know. No, I know you needed to know. And I'm sorry if this is hurting you but I didn't lie to you Carly, they did and I can't be bothered with this, this is pathetic"

"Pathetic?" I stood up and unlocked the door again "do you even know what I've been through"

"You? Are you being serious?"

"Excuse me"

"You act like the entire world is against you, they did what was best for you at the time, how are you supposed to tell a child that her parent is a murderer" his voice increased as he got to the end of his sentence, his hands were now running through his hair, his jaw tensing

"They shouldn't have lied; you even said they shouldn't have" i said throwing my arms in the air sounding like a child

"No, I said you deserved the truth and thats what i gave you. I understand why they didn't tell you, you were a child! Carly" he threw his arms down and turned away from me

"Yes I was a child but I would've preferred to have know" I wouldn't have, I would've preferred if everyone kept lying

"You're a liar" he turned to face me again, he towered over me and I had to take a few steps back to be able to see his face without injuring my neck, he clearly didn't get the message as he took a step towards me which meant he was again towering over me. He pushed the door and locked it without having to look.  

"What are you doing?"

He reached out and wiped a falling tear off of my face, I didn't even realise they were still falling.

"We're staying in here until you understand"

"Understand what?"

"Exactly" he walked over to my dressing table picking up a book.

"I didn't say you could read that"

"You didn't say anything at all" he closed the book with one hand and placed it back on the table before lying down on my bed, legs crossed and his arms behind his head

"Why are you even here?"

"I said I needed to go to the toilet"

I rolled my eyes at him to which he scoffed

"Don't you think they're going to notice that you've gone?"

"That infers that you know how long I spend in the toilet, have you been studying me, Miss Johnson"

"Oh shut up" I walked over to the bed and shoved him over, I wanted to be angry at him but his smile is so infectious

"Why didn't you reply?" he pushed himself up onto his elbows

"The text message" it came out as more of a statement than a question

"Yes 'the text message'" he imitated my voice, I can't stand when people do that

"Okay, 1 don't imitate my voice and 2 I don't have to reply to anything"

"I know you don't but I wanted you to, I needed you to"

"You don't need anything from me" I turned away from him swinging my legs off the bed

"I do" he got up and sat next to me "I need you Carly, and I can't ignore it anymore"

"Why?"

"Because for the first time in a very long time I can be myself"  

"But why me"

"I don't know okay, I don't know how to explain it and there's nothing I can compare it to"

I stared at him and him at me. His forehead rested on mine and his eyes fluttered shut, I watched the way his breathing hitched as his lips got closer to mine. My eyes inherently closed and before I knew it we kissed. Everything bad flew away and I felt like I was flying but it all ended far too soon.

"Why don't I get that shock anymore?" I asked breathlessly

"What" he sounded the same as me

"The shock I remember it when we first met but I don't get it anymore I haven't had it for a long time"

"Because" he looked down

"Because what Colton"

He looked up at me, his hands clasped together hanging down between his legs

"Because i love you"

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I am a horrible human being who doesnt update her story i am so sorry x