Dr. S. James (5)

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It took me a while to warm up to the idea of going to therapy. I was reluctant and shameful about the whole thing and thought it'd be awkward, even thought it was unnecessary and definitely uttered the words, "I don't need to talk to someone, I'm fine."

Well we all know that was a lie.

I don't want to say that I was forced to go, Gerard doesn't force me to do anything (save getting out of bed in the morning), but in the end I didn't have much choice in the matter. So I see my psychologist, Sam, after school every Thursday at 4PM and it's been that way for over a year now. And let me tell you, she's pretty darn cool.

Assuming Gee won't have a problem with me tattooing my entire body one day and also piercing a hole in my nose, Sam is everything I'll never be. Articulate, namely. She can hold a conversation about anything and everything, all the while seeming genuinely interested. I think she could get along well with Emerald. I guess that's part of her job, but I'm easily impressed.

"So, let's move away from the topic of school starting up again, what else has been going on? Anything note-worthy?" Sam taps her pen on her notepad. She always takes notes during our sessions, peering down at them from behind her Harry Potter-esque glasses.

"Well we're gonna start doing Friday night movies at home, which is a thing we used to do."

"How does that make you feel? Are you excited?" she asks.

"Yeah, I am," I answer truthfully. "It's not gonna be stressful like it was before, 'cause I won't have to find ways to get out of eating and stuff."

"I'm glad you feel that way!" Sam smiles brightly as she remarks, "What's a movie without snacks, right?"

I nod.

"Which one are you watching? Have you got a movie planned?"

Once again, I nod. "Star Wars. The first one, episode four, A New Hope... you know what I mean." I ramble and Sam nods her head enthusiastically.

"That's so cool!" she exclaims. "I didn't see the original trilogy in theaters, but I saw all the prequels. And, well, I was just so excited to see Star Wars on the big screen. It was great. Did you see them? Or are you too young?"

"Well... well, I didn't exactly spend my childhood watching movies and stuff," I mumble awkwardly. I've been trying to stop mumbling so much, but when I feel uncomfortable that's just how the words come out. It's super handy when a teacher calls on me in class and always has to ask me to speak up more than once.

"Ah." Sam smiles sympathetically at me. "But there's a perk of having an amazing adoptive family: You get to make new memories and catch up on all the fun stuff you missed, like watching movies, right?"

"Right." The corners of my mouth turn up at just the memory of all the fun memories I've already made with them.

One that immediately comes to mind is the time that me and the guys played Truth or Dare. So much has happened since then, it feels like an eternity. But it was just over two years ago. I wish I could go back and tell that little fourteen year old, insecure, anxious little me that I didn't need to worry. That those people sitting around me meant it when they said they weren't planning on ever getting rid of me and that they loved me. I don't know if I would warn her about all the shit to come, though.

I've seen Back To The Future enough times.

I consider telling Sam about that game of Truth or Dare (and I definitely wouldn't leave out the part where I had to call that pizza place), but before I can open my mouth, she checks the watch on her wrist.

"The hour's almost up," she says. "Is there anything else on your mind you want to get out of the way before your dad picks you up?"

"Well, actually..."

A Way Back Home | Adopted by Gerard Way (Book Two)Where stories live. Discover now